Demon Falcon
by KnifeySaixer
Summary: A story full of humor, action, adventure, silly Seraphim, and many surprises. I suppose you'd call it an alternate dimension, but it's still the same world with the same locations. Oh, and just so you know, spoilers will be everywhere in this story.
1. Chapter I: No Way! Evil!

Notes: Feel free to leave whatever comments are deemed necessary. I shall respond to them at the end of every chapter.

Disclaimer: I own none of these characters. All characters are owned by Namco. Now, let's get this show on the road.

* * *

Chapter I: No Way! Evil!

* * *

A man sat upon a throne, swirling his wine glass and resting his head in his hand. He wore a white suit as well as a malicious grin. He looked around his throne room, filled with royal reds, golds, and purples. He seemed to be deep in thought before he was interrupted by a maid dressed in green running up to him.

"Lord Lloyd! Lord Lloyd!" said the girl, managing to trip and pick herself up before she reached him.

"What do you want now, you bumbling oaf?" he replied, a hint of exasperation in his voice.

"Martel's Angels have made it inside the castle!" she yelled, waving her arms around.

"Martel's who now?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You know, those Cruxis guys."

"The two remaining Seraphim? Ha! A new name every week with those bozos."

"Yeah! They're here!"

Lloyd took a sip of his blood red wine and preened his hair before saying, "What's your point?"

The maid looked appalled, "Lord Lloyd, they've been trying to kill-"

"Do you doubt my abilities?"

"Of course not, Lord Lloyd! It's just-"

"Then don't make a big deal out of those idiots coming here!"

"But Lloyd-"

"I'll deal with them, get back to work."

"Yes, Lord Lloyd," said the girl as she walked off to clean.

"Oh, and Colette," he began, taking another swig of his wine while continuing to grin evilly.

The maid's face lit up as she turned around to look at Lloyd, "Yes Lloyd!"

"If you ever call me just plain Lloyd again, I will personally take pleasure in disemboweling you."

Colette's face noticeably dimmed as she turned around to leave, "Yes, Lord Lloyd…"

Lloyd watched her go and took another sip of his wine, "Sweet girl, but far too loving for her own good." He swirled his wine again before he yelled, "Kratos!"

A brown-haired figure clad in brown stepped out of the shadows behind Lloyd's throne. He, too, wore white, though his costume seemed to have numerous belts on it as well. "What is it you desire, Lord Lloyd?" he asked.

"It seems some friends of yours have infiltrated the castle."

"You mean the Mithos Mercenaries?"

"Well no, I mean yes. Oh, whatever they are this week. I want you to give them a warm welcome."

"As you command, Lord Lloyd," said Kratos, sprouting wings and lifting himself into the air. He then flew off to find the intruders.

Lloyd only continued smiling and swirling his wine, "Fools. I'll show them… I'll show them all! This world will be mine, and there's nothing those buffoons can do to stop me." He began to laugh maniacally, but then abruptly stopped and strained his ears. He couldn't hear anything, and so yelled, "Where's my evil music! How am I supposed to effectively look evil without my evil music!"

There was some shuffling, a cough, and a muttering of "Sorry," and then the rich and evil bass began. "Much better," Lloyd said, before laughing maniacally once more.

* * *

A man cloaked in blue carrying a swallow was flying next to a man wearing a skintight bodysuit as they searched the interiors of the castle. The cloaked one spoke, "I really don't think changing our name to 'Mithostastic' is going to be very threatening."

The other man pushed his golden locks out of his face, and looked indignant, "Oh, yeah, sure, shoot down my names when you wanna name us 'Yuan's Band of Merry Men'! There are only two of us, how can we be a _band_ of _men_? We're really a _couple _of _men_."

"Oh shut up..."

"Fine…" replied blonde man. The two continued on in silence, until the blonde one spoke again, "You know, Martel liked me better."

It was the cloaked one's turn to look indignant, "I was _engaged_ to her! You're her _kid brother_! I think it's obvious she liked me more."

The yellow-haired one stopped and hovered above the ground, "Just because she was engaged to you doesn't mean she liked you, Yuan!"

Yuan also stopped and turned around to face his blonde companion. "For the love of God, do you even listen to yourself, Mithos? Why _else_ would she be engaged to me? It's not like I was, or am, loaded. Nor was Martel a gold digger."

"I don't know, she pitied you or something."

"Oh, for- four thousand years and you still act like you're two!"

"_Four thousand years and you still act like you're two_!"

"Don't you mock me!"

"_Don't you mock me_!"

"Why you!"

"_Why you_!"

"Why don't you two shut up?" came a voice from ahead of them. They both looked forward and saw Kratos.

Mithos made a look of fake fear, "Oh no, it is the traitor," he said, putting a great deal of emphasis on each word and separating them awkwardly.

Yuan looked at Mithos briefly before saying, "Remind me to send you to acting school." Mithos simply stuck his tongue out at Yuan and blew a raspberry. Yuan ignored him and turned his attention back to Kratos, "So, Kratos, what news do you have for us today?"

Kratos pulled out a folded piece of paper from under one of his belts and handed it to Yuan. Yuan took it, unfolded it, and began to read it while Kratos spoke, "It seems Lloyd is planning to threaten each city individually with Thor's Hammer, assuming he can coax Raine and Kate into fixing it. He also seems to be amassing a large army if that fails so he can conquer the world the old fashioned way if need be."

Yuan folded the piece of paper and placed it inside his cloak. "These specifications for the Mana Cannon should come in very handy."

Mithos folded his arms and looked at Yuan, "Are we done here, we've got work to do."

Yuan placed his finger in front of Mithos's face, shushing him. He then pointed in the direction of a corridor, "Listen!" he whispered.

Kratos and Mithos listened intently before noticing a faint walking sound. "It seems we'll be discovered if we don't do something," Kratos observed.

"Whoever that is, they're to close to just run away from without them noticing, we'll have to fight each other," Yuan added.

"Well then, we must kung fu fight!" Mithos yelled. He then struck a pose before yelling "Yggdrassil, transform!" Suddenly, it was as if time had stopped for everyone except him and there was a strange motion-blur behind him. First, there were numerous robotic sounds as wheels suddenly showed up out of no where, only to disappear once more. Random voices began chanting "Transformers! More than meets the eye!" over and over again over the sounds of guitar riffs. He grew shorter and shorter as the sounds of metal locking into each other continued behind him. His clothes also changed into a moderately intricate shirt and green pants, his wings became rainbow colored, all the while, the chanting and robotic noises continued. He struck another pose and guitars ended on a chord.

A large sweat drop appeared on Yuan's forehead while Kratos simply smacked his own forehead. They both asked, "Must you always do that?"

"Yes," replied Mithos in a considerably higher voice.

The person they had heard approaching them had rounded a corner and was now facing them. She wore a stunning, and revealing, red dress that accentuated all of the curves on her body. Her hair was tied in a bun, and she smiled an evil smile. She pointed at Kratos and spoke, "There you are, Kratos. I see you've found our guests. Be a good knight and dispose of them!"

"Yes, Lady Sheena," Kratos said, drawing a translucent orange blade.

Yuan threw off his cloak and readied his swallow, "Ready for a _real_ fight?"

Before Kratos could answer, Mithos yelled, "Nuh-uh! I refuse to fight until we get some totally awesome battle music!"

Sheena hmphed before saying, "Fine, I'll hum a tune and Kratos can kill you! Is that _okay_ with you twits!"

"Well, lady," Mithos began, "unless you sound like synth trumpets, I don't want to hear it."

"Then I'll call the court musicians!" she yelled. She then turned around and ordered the musicians, who were still there from playing Mithos's transformation riffs to play something. "You there, conductor," she ordered, "Play "The End of a Thought"… Now, you idiots!" With that, musicians jumped in fright, but began to play anyway.

"Much better," Mithos said, before swiping at Kratos with a glowing hand. Kratos dodged the blow easily, though that was to be expected since Mithos was not actually trying to hurt him.

Yuan charged at Kratos with his swallow pointing straight at him, though he looked at Mithos while doing so and said, "Do you ever wonder why people don't like you?" Kratos dodged Yuan's half-hearted charge, though they managed to make it look like they were putting a great deal of effort into doing their respective actions.

"No, not really," Mithos replied, bringing his hands and knees towards his chest. He suddenly shot them outward at blinding speed and yelled, "Rejection!" and a dome of light surrounded and expanded around him. Both Yuan and Kratos had to dodge this attack as it spread around the hallway. Mithos looked at Yuan and yelled, "Now!"

Yuan, who was still trying to regain his aerial balance, spun his swallow and charged the ground, yelling, "Thunder Explosion!" Where his swallow hit the ground, a large amount of electricity surged before there was an explosion of electricity that emitted copious light. It blinded Kratos and Sheena momentarily, and when they had regained their sight, the two Seraphim were gone.

"Dammit," yelled Sheena, "How I wanted to see them die!"

"My apologies, Lady Sheena," Kratos replied, kneeling down.

"We'll kill those two meddlesome half-elves next time," she said, regaining the cool composure she had when she first stumbled upon them. She turned to look at the band, which was still playing "The End of a Thought". She smirked and calmly said, "Boys, if you don't stop playing that music, I'll be having you served for dinner."

The band quickly stopped and collectively said, "Sorry Lady Sheena!" They then scampered away in fear.

"Oh, how I love being evil," she said as she watched them go. She gave a little snicker before turning to leave herself. "Kratos, find Colette and tell her to clean up this mess," she commanded, beginning to walk back from where she came.

"As you command."

"And Kratos," she began.

"Yes Lady Sheena?"

"Make sure to break a few more things. We can't let her have an easy time, now can we?"

"Of course Lady Sheena."


	2. Chapter II: Propositions

* * *

Chapter II: Propositions

* * *

The man looked at himself in the mirror and admired his figure. He wore a pink one-sleeved coat with a large white star-like shape in the center, and shoulder pads adorned each shoulder. Around his head was a headband with a Z in the center; the man's wild pink hair fell around his headband. "Oh yeah, lookin' sharp!" he said to himself while striking multiple poses. His posing was interrupted when a man wearing a tuxedo walked in and spoke. 

"Master Zelos, Master Yuan and Lord Yggdrasil have arrived."

Zelos turned around and looked at the other man, "Thanks, Sebastian. Send 'em up, will ya."

"Of course, Master Zelos," said Sebastian, bowing and taking his leave.

Zelos went back to admiring himself in the mirror, "These new threads aren't so bad. Of course, I make anything look good. Booyah!"

"Are you still in here being a narcissistic twit?"

Zelos turned around and looked at the two Seraphim who stood in the doorway to his bedroom. "Who wouldn't be narcissistic when you're as hot as I am? Sizzlin'!"

Mithos, now in his adult form once more, simply laughed. Yuan walked over to Zelos and smacked him in the head. "Zelos," he Yuan began, "as the Chosen One of Cruxis, you have to be more serious about this."

"Yeah, yeah, I know the drill. 'The Chosen One of Cruxis is supposed to discover the way to stop the evils of the world, i.e. the Demon Falcon' yadda yadda yadda, some such and some which," Zelos said, making mocking gestures with his hands. He preened his hair and folded his arms before continuing, "Pfft, can't a totally sexy guy admire himself for a few minutes in his own mansion?"

"If you're the hope of humans, half-elves, and elves, I weep for our poor souls."

* * *

Lloyd sat in his throne, drinking his blood red wine and grinning. Next to him, in a throne identical to his, sat Sheena, who was flipping through a deck of cards, also grinning. The two sat there, sharing a moment together in their throne room before Colette came running in, tripping multiple times in the process. Once she had righted herself and bowed to each of the two tyrants individually and then at the same time, she spoke, "I finished cleaning the corridor, Lady Sheena." 

"Good girl," she replied.

"I have also brought Professor Raine and Professor Kate from the dungeon, as you commanded," she said, gesturing toward the door. Two women walked in, one with silver hair, the other with teal hair and glasses. Both wore white lab coats.

"Oh, she's such a good maid, isn't she Lloyd?" Sheena asked, turning toward the evil nobleman.

"Yes, I don't believe we could get anyone better," at this, Colette's eyes lit up, but Lloyd wasn't done, "-Except maybe a drunken rat." Lloyd laughed. Small tears formed in the maid's eyes as the shine in her eyes rapidly diminished. She lowered her head, attempting to hide them.

"Or perhaps a tipsy hobo," Sheena remarked, joining Lloyd in laughing at the maid. Colette could not hide her tears and ran out of the throne room sobbing. The scientists watched her go. Then the silver-haired one changed her attention to the two nobles sitting upon the thrones while the teal-haired one continued looking in the direction of the distraught maid.

"Poor dear…" said the teal-haired scientist.

"Was that necessary? That girl tries so hard to serve you well, and you repay her by insulting her," said the silver-haired woman calmly.

Lloyd swirled his wine and took a sip before answering, "Raine, Raine, Raine. Why should I care about such a useless buffoon such as that klutzy maid?"

"Because she was your friend."

"Your point, dear professor?" Lloyd waited for a reply, but Raine simply, tightened her hands into a fist and looked away. "As I thought, just mouthing off as usual. Such resistance," he said, closing his eyes and shaking his head while grinning. "Well, my lovely scientists, I've summoned you two here because I have a proposition for you."

"And what would that be?" asked Raine, folding her arms.

"I want you two to discover how the Mana Cannon works."

Raine suddenly glowered at Lloyd, her eyes full of hate, and shouted "Why should I help you! You killed my brother!"

Kate turned around and looked at her companion, "Wait, you mean to tell me-"

"Yes," Lloyd began, "I killed Genis!" He laughed maniacally once more, and then stopped, noticing the distinct lack of dramatic music. "Darn it, are we going to go through this every time I laugh evilly!" he said, pointing at the court musicians sleeping in a corner, "When _I _laugh, _you _play!" The musicians continued sleeping, and Lloyd, in a fit of rage, yelled, "If you idiots don't start playing my evil music right this second, I'll have you skewered upon the ends of my swords!" The musicians woke up at their liege's outburst and hurriedly rushed into music to set the mood of a dark revelation of some sort. "Much better, though, because of you, the moment was completely ruined-"

Suddenly, Raine's face lit up and she yelled, "Ruin! Where? Where! I must study it!"

"Your not helping the situation, Raine…" Raine came back to her senses and glared coldly at the dark tyrant, though it was obvious that she was becoming more furious by the moment. "Ahem… I've summoned you two here because I have a proposition-" Lloyd stopped as he dodged a punch throne at him from a very angry Raine, so angry, that she was crying. "Temper, temper, Raine dear."

"You!" she yelled, "I hate you! I hate you so profusely that if my hate could be materialized into a solid form its mass would crush everything upon this planet!" Kate rushed to her side as Raine fell into a heap on the ground. She sobbed uncontrollably, "What happened to the Lloyd that I taught as a child! What happened to the Sheena who only wanted to help her people!"

Lloyd and Sheena both laughed, and Sheena spoke, "They died long ago. Besides, screw Mizuho!"

Kate looked at the two nobles, and said, "You monsters! We'll never help you!"

"Oh really," said Sheena, pulling a card from her deck, "Can you see what's on this card?"

Kate gazed at the card, a look of terror flashed across her face, "That's my-"

"Your father! You see I, call these my voodoo cards. Anything I do to them, happens to the victim." Sheena held the card between her hands, as if to rip it.

Though originally fearful, Kate grew a new steely resolve and pushed up her glasses. "I'm a scientist," she began, "You can't expect me to believe that you can control someone else's body without being anywhere near them. I'm positive that that's beyond the limits of most anything—even magitechnology."

"Perhaps, but it's not beyond the bounds of ninjitsu."

"Hah!"

"I see a demonstration is in order." Sheena searched her deck for a certain card and held it up for Kate to see.

"That's Raine, your point?"

Sheena took the card in one hand and shouted, "Control Seal!" With that, the card began to glow a faint blue. She began to slowly bend the card while Kate just watched, somewhat confused as to what the fuss was all about. Suddenly, Raine let out a shriek as her back began to bend unnaturally.

"Stop! Stop before you paralyze her!" Kate yelled.

Sheena stopped, taking the card between two fingertips; the blue coloring around it had turned a pale green. Raine's voodo card began to straighten itself, and so did Raine. "So, what do you think about my ninjutsu now?" Kate only stared back in fear. "I thought so." 

"I assume I can finish my proposition now," Lloyd said before taking another sip of his wine. He adjusted his position on the throne before continuing, "You see, I would like you and Professor Raine to find a way to activate Thor's Hammer."

Raine pushed herself up off the ground, Kate helping her up, an appalled look adorning her face, "You can't be serious…"

"Oh, I'm quite serious, my dear Raine. Quite serious."

Raine looked indignant, "No! We will not-"

"We'll do it…"

"Kate!"

Lloyd laughed, "Excellent! Excellent! Kratos shall show you too the lab." With that, the brown-haired knight stepped out of the shadows and led the two scientists out of the throne room. Lloyd turned his attention to Sheena, "Well, that went mostly as expected," he said, while Sheena simply smiled maliciously. He then pointed at musicians, "Though I'm beginning to think that we need to hire a new court orchestra, these simpletons seem to be inept at everything we demand." The music makers shuddered and hid behind their instruments.

"I think you might be right, Lloyd," Sheena began, "these sniveling cowards can't possibly be the best we can afford with all the money we have." The two tyrants shared a laugh when Sheena realized something, "… Our dinner party is tomorrow, isn't it?"

Lloyd took a sip of his wine and thought momentarily, "I believe you're right… excellent."

* * *

"So what's the plan, boss man?" Zelos asked the blonde angel, having finally taken himself away from his mirror. 

Mithos lifted his hand to speak, but Yuan cut him off, "Lloyd's planning to uses the-"

"Ahem!" the Seraphim began, "I believe he asked _me_."

Yuan rolled his eyes before continuing, "He's going to fix-"

"Darn it, Yuan, I'm the leader, let me say it!" Mithos yelled while stamping his foot childishly.

"Fine, fine. Say it... You're such a baby."

Mithos smiled like an idiot, "Thank you! Lloyd's gonna force Raine and Kate to fix the Mana Cannon, so we've gotta go rescue them."

A sudden look of horror flashed upon Zelos's face, "No, no! Say it ain't so Mithos! Say it ain't so!"

Mithos, though an incredibly powerful half-elf and an angel, was also very easily confused, and replied, "It ain't so?"

"Good."

"Don't listen to him, that is exactly what they're doing."

"Nooooo!" Zelos yelled at the top of his lungs. He pulled out his laser blade and blue shield and struck a dramatic, not to mention heroic pose, before continuing, "Those lovely lasses cannot be used like that! We must rescue them!"

"We will, but first, we have to go to the Lezareno Company Headquarters," Yuan said, walking towards a window, extending his wings, and jumping out of it.

"Lezareno?" Zelos began, following Yuan, "Why?"

Mithos, too, leapt out the window, "You'll find out when we get there." And the three were off.

Moments later, Sebastian entered the room, "Master Zelos, the 'Confirm the Chosen's Superiority Squad' has-" he stopped as he noticed that there was no one there. He looked around the room to make sure, and then poked his head out into hall. As a final precaution, he said, "Master Zelos, if you are able to hear me, please confirm that you are more attractive than I am." He waited a moment for a reply, but none came. Suddenly, the butler seemed to become overjoyed, "Wohoo! I've got the mansion to myself! Woot! No more stuffy language! Yeah!" he yelled as he stripped off his tuxedo and began to run around in his underwear. He began to sing, "Three little girls from school are we! Filled to the brim with girlish glee!" The "Confirm the Chosen's Superiority Squad", who were waiting in the foyer and had seen the butler's outburst, ran out of the mansion, screaming in horror.


	3. Chapter III: Atonement and Whining

* * *

Chapter III: Atonement and Whining

* * *

His long, azure locks flowing in the wind, the man stared out the window of the Lezareno Company's president's room. The man wore a blue jacket and tan pants, creating a suit fitting of the president of Lezareno. What was strange was that, besides his ornate suit, he also wore a pair of handcuffs around his hands. A woman, not much shorter than him, walked up behind him. "Regal," she said, placing her hand on his shoulder, "let it go."

Regal turned to look at her, and took a deep breath, "I can't, Presea."

The woman folded her arms around her own purple suit and thought for a moment. "Regal," she began, "you and I have been friends for a long time—it's been almost ten years since we first met—and I'm going to tell you again: you can take those handcuffs off now."

Regal turned away in shame, "No, I can't, Presea." He lifted his hands into the air, allowing the setting sun to reflect dramatically off the steel, and he spoke, "These are the symbol of my crime…"

Suddenly, Presea looked very annoyed and pulled at her pigtails. She stopped, and took a deep breath in attempt to calm down. "Regal, it's okay, I forgive you for spilling the coffee on Mr. Snookums."

The president of the Lezareno Company dropped to his knees and lifted his head to the sky, and anguished, "Oh God, forgive this sinner for such a heinous crime! ANGST!" He then lowered his head to the floor and began pounding his hands against it. Presea smacked her forehead. She stood there for a moment before she saw their guests arrive.

"You're late," she said.

Yuan landed on the floor and brushed off his shoulders, "Sorry about that, but Mr. and Mrs. Vain had stop and stare at themselves in the ocean." He glared daggers at his companions.

"What, the Chosen's gotta look good, doesn't he?"

Mithos stood there defensively, returning Yuan's glare, "Which of us is the Mrs.?"

"You choose, Ms."

"Oh, in that case-" Mithos stopped himself as he thought about what Yuan had said. "Hey!" Yuan snickered.

During the exchanged, Regal had regained his composure and was dusting himself off. He approached the angels, "What is it that you need?"

"We're going to need disguises; we're going to infiltrate Castle Raptor," Yuan explained.

"I thought your names were your disguises," Regal said, "Though I'm not surprised, every single one you two have come up with has referred to one of the Four Seraphim. Heck, you even called yourselves the 'Kratosian Rangers'! I can't imagine that went well for your inside man."

"No, no it didn't. Now, are you going to help us or not?"

"Of course, how else am I to atone for my other crimes?" Regal held up his handcuffs and the light dramatically reflected off of them again, "How much longer must I keep up this charade! How much longer must I financially back a demon! ANGST!" Once again, he fell to his knees and began to pound the floor.

Mithos shook his head, "So much teenage angst for a guy in his early thirties…"

"I know," Presea said, "When you've known him for as long as I have, you get used to it."

Yuan rubbed his chin, "How often does break down like this?"

"Oh, at least ten or so times a day? Why?"

The three angels looked appalled, "How on Tethe'Alla do you keep employees then?" Zelos asked.

"Don't know."

* * *

In the lobby of the Lezareno Company, the receptionists were attempting to work over the racket coming from the president's office. "Diane," a man asked the receptionist next to him, "We have got to get out of here! Every freakin' day, that guy bangs the floor and yells! It's driving me nuts!"

"ANGST!" Regal yelled from above.

"You see!" said the man, frantically clawing at his head, "You see! We've got to leave!"

The woman, who was chewing gum, only looked at her co-worker and said, "Not leaving."

"What the- Why?"

"Dental plan."

"Dental plan?" asked the man, madness creeping across his face, "Dental plan! No dental plan is worth this hell!"

"OH GOD, ANGST!" yelled Regal once more.

"Shut up! SHUT UP!"

"Bob," said Diane as she picked up a piece of paper from her desk, "Have you seen the dental plan?"

"No, but I can assure you that-" he was interrupted by a paper being thrust into his face. As he read it, and his face gradually transitioned from psychotic anger into sheer amazement. "You have got to be- This is so-" He put it down, looked to the sky, and began to cry. "Oh… my… God… It's so… so amazingly beautiful!"

"Told you," Diane said, spitting out her now tasteless gum and taking out another stick from her pocket.

* * *

Yuan simply looked at the company head before asking, "How long until he calms down?" 

Presea shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know, but my guess is on another minute or so."

"Any chance you could show us where we can get our disguises so we can get this over with?"

"I could, but I have a better idea."

"What?"

"Lloyd's hosting a party tomorrow night. Regal and I, being president and vice-president of the company that is his greatest beneficiary, have been invited. We're each allowed one guest-"

"Two guests," Regal corrected.

The four looked surprised, and Presea asked, "When did you stop sulking?"

Regal took out a watch, checked the position of the Sun, and looked at the length of his shadow. He did some calculations in his head, and answered, "Approximately five-point-seven-four-nine-six-one-eight-zero-two seconds."

"Exactly how were you able to be that exact?"

"Oh, that's simple, see-"

"We don't have time for this," Yuan said, "What was your plan, Presea?"

"Oh, right, well, you see-"

"You wouldn't happen to have a full body mirror around here, would you?" Zelos asked the vice president.

"No… we're a business, why would we have one?"

"Just wonderin'."

Regal placed his hand on Zelos's shoulder and looked down, "I'm sorry my friend… It's my fault… I've committed yet another crime against humanity! I must atone! Angst!"

"Regal, shut up before I hit you!" Presea and Mithos yelled. The president of the Lezareno Company quickly stopped yelling, but continued to hang his head in shame.

"Anyway," Presea continued, "I think that if you three come with us as guests, you'll be able to walk around much more easily. Simple really. This way, your chances of success will be sixty percent."

"Only sixty percent! I'm not mussing my beautiful, magical, perfect hair for a measly sixty percent!" Zelos yelled, folding his arms around his chest and staring out of the window.

"Zel-" Presea began, but she was interrupted by the blue-haired Seraphim.

"Think of Raine and Kate and numerous other girls at the party."

"Oh, well then, let's go!" he yelled, sprouting his wings and charging towards the window, "I've got hunnies to – YEEEOUCH!" Mithos tugged on his hair, causing Zelos's body to go flying into the air, seemingly almost separating the Chosen's hair from his head.

"Come now Zelos, were you not listening?" Mithos began smugly, "The party is tomorrow night."

Zelos landed on the ground and stared reproachfully at Mithos, and began caressing his hair, "Yeah, yeah, I got it…" He then turned to his hair and began to cry, whispering, "It's okay, it'll all be okay, he didn't do anything, don't worry," over and over again.

"Well, there's no need to send you all back to the mansion, why don't you stay in the hotel here?" Regal said.

"Is it free?" Yuan asked.

"Yes."

"Will we get separate rooms?" Mithos asked.

"Yes."

"Is there a bottle of complimentary hair gel in each room?" Zelos asked.

"… No! No there isn't! Oh that's another crime against-"

"Shut up, Regal, just shut up!" Presea yelled, hitting the president with the flat side of her axe. Regal fell over and began mumbling something handcuffs, pink hair, and teddy bears before falling unconscious.

"Err… Is he okay?" Yuan inquired, kneeling over the president's body and poking him with his swallow.

"Yeah, he's fine, he's only unconscious," Presea replied, leaning on her axe.

"Where'd you get that axe?" Mithos asked.

"Oh, this, I'm a woman, I have the ability to conceal any and all items on my person even if it defies the laws of physics."

"Uh… yeah… can you teach me how to do that?"

"If you come back here after a sex change, sure."

"No, no that's okay…"

Presea rummaged through her pocket and pulled out a card, "Well, you'll be needing this," she handed the card to Yuan before continuing, "Show this to the receptionists and you'll be admitted into your rooms."

"Thank you, Presea," Yuan said before turning to leave. He sprouted his wings and jumped out the window, shortly followed by Mithos and Zelos, who was still sulking about his hair.

"Yuan, as the leader of Cruxis, I demand that you give me that card," the body-altering Seraphim commanded.

"Huh, why should I?" the swallow-wielding Seraphim replied.

"Because I'm the leader and I want it!" Mithos whined.

"That's a really bad reason." Yuan retorted.

"Gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme!" Mithos began yelling, swiping at Yuan's hand.

"I swear, you're such a child, Mithos!" Yuan replied, trying to keep the leader of Cruxis at bay.

"Am not!" Mithos screamed, lunging, or, rather, doing the aerial equivalent of lunging at Yuan. Soon, the two of them were enveloped in dust cloud as they fought each other, spewing insults at each other.

"Child!"

"Blue hair!"

"Fool!"

"Blue hair!"

"Drama Queen!"

"Blue hair!"

"Not the face!"

"Zelos?"

"Now look what you've done Mithos!"

"Me, this is your fault, Yuan!"

Presea looked on as the three angels slowly made their way toward the inn. She sighed, "We are so totally screwed…" She turned away from the scene and only shook her head in despair.


	4. Chapter IV: A Night at Hotel Lezareno

* * *

Chapter IV: A Night at Hotel Lezareno

* * *

A woman laid in a hammock on the beach, reading with a relaxed look on her face. She looked up into the sky and inhaled deeply, "Nothing like a nice night on the beach to calm your nerves." She adjusted her position in the hammock, but noticed something out of the corner of her eye. "What the heck is that?" she said out loud, dropping her book and attracting the attention of several people. 

"Rejection!"

"Thunder Blade!"

"My beautiful face! My beautiful hair!"

"Retribution!"

"I'm immune to paralysis!"

"D'oh!"

"Not me…"

The woman looked at the crowd that had assembled around her. A man caught her attention, and she asked him, "Do you hear that yelling?"

"Yeah, I sure do," he replied. He rubbed his chin and squinted his eyes, taking a good look at the dust cloud that was headed toward them. "Is it just me, or is that thing getting closer?"

"I'm pretty sure it is."

"I'm starting to get the feeling that we should all run away right now."

"Me too," the woman said while grabbing the book that was now lying on the ground and untying her hammock at a rapid pace. When she was done, she began to run as fast as she could, the man not far behind her. The general populace watched as the two went, and then noticed just how close the dust cloud now was. A lightning bolt struck one men standing there, and he fell on the ground almost immediately.

"Maria!" the man shouted.

A woman ran to his side, and kneeled beside him. "I'll never leave you, Tony!" 

"No Maria," Tony said, "You must escape from here before you too are stricken down."

"Oh, okay then," Maria said, standing up and beginning to run off. Before she could make it five feet away, she was hit by a ray of light, and she fell over. "Well, now I _really _can't leave you, Tony."

Panic consumed the beach as the beach-goers ran toward the exit. Shouts and screams of shear, unadulterated terror were heard from all around. Throughout all of this, though, Tony had broken out into song, "Mariaaaa, I'm dying with a girl named Mariaaaa! And suddenly that name-" The poor lad was promptly trampled by the fear consumed crowd as Maria silently wept for her love.

"Indignation!"

"Absolute!"

"Could ya at least let me outta this!"

"Thunder Explosion!"

"Judgement!"

"Ack!"

The three angels had finally made their way to the beach, and landed in an exhausted heap on the gritty sand. A small yelp and something akin to "Tony…" was heard from a female form under their bodies. Ignoring this, Yuan and Mithos immediately rose to their feet and faced each other, determination crossing both of their faces. Zelos soon got up as well, just in time to stop the ensuing battle that would likely be the end of Altamira.

"Guys! Guys!" the red-haired chosen yelled, stopping the two from running each other through, "Hotel Lezareno is only, what, one hundred feet away and I need my beauty sleep, beat each other up later."

The two Seraphim relaxed: Yuan placing his swallow on his back, and Mithos letting the glow dissipate from his hands. "I'm sorry," Yuan said while dusting himself off, "I became as childish as Mithos for a moment." Mithos only blew a raspberry in Yuan's general direction before setting off for the hotel.

When the three entered the Hotel Lezareno, they were greeted by a woman dressed in a black, and incredibly revealing, bunny suit. Zelos began to drool, quite audibly in fact, until Mithos slapped him across the face and shook his head in disgust. "Welcome to the Hotel Lezareno!" the woman shouted enthusiastically, "Do you have reservations?"

Yuan took the card Presea had handed him out of his pocket and handed it to the receptionist. She read it over before taking three keys from behind the desk and handing them to each of the members of Cruxis. "Your rooms are 200A, 201A, and 202A! All of them are on the third floor! The elevators are on the right wall! Enjoy your stay!" she yelled happily.

The angels began to walk towards the elevators. "I wonder why she's so cheerful." Mithos said.

"Probably to hide the shame of having to wear such an outfit," Yuan replied. He suddenly stopped walking and looked directly at Mithos, "Where's Zelos?"

The two Seraphim smacked their heads and turned around to look at the reception desk. There was Zelos, flirting with the receptionist. "So, hunnie, what's your name?"

"Lily," the woman giggled, blushing profusely.

"How about you come up to my room and-"

"Zelos!" Yuan yelled.

"What! I'm busy here!"

"Leave that woman alone and go to your room!"

"But-"

"Now!"

"Shoot!" he shouted, hanging his head down. He then turned back to Lily, "Don't worry, darlin', I'll be back." The Chosen then made his way to the elevator where his fellow angels waited for him. The three of them entered, Mithos pressed the button labeled three, feeling some sort of achievement in doing so, and the elevator rose to the third floor. They walked out of the elevator and stopped at the rooms directly across the hall.

"Well, this is convenient, our rooms are right here," Yuan said. He turned to look at his companions, and asked, "We should probably return to the Lezareno Company at about nine o'clock, so when are we going to meet?"

"In the morning of course," Mithos stated.

"I was hoping for something more specific."

"Twelve, then."

"I just said we should be there by nine, Mithos," Yuan said, massaging his temples.

"Oh, elev-"

"Let's just meet at eight, I'm going to bed," Zelos said, walking into room 201A and shutting the door behind him.

"Eight it is, then," Yuan concurred, entering room 202A and closing his door.

Mithos simply fumed where he stood, "Hey! Hey! I'm the leader! I should be making these decisions!" When his complaints fell on deaf ears, he walked into room 200A and slammed his door.

* * *

Yuan slept peacefully, dreaming of his beloved, but long dead, Martel. Inside his imagination, he was in a forest, filled with fruit-bearing trees and lush vegetation as far as the eye could see. Next to him sat a woman who wore a green jacket with loose fitting sleeves and white pants. Her teal hair reached the ground, and it seemed that it would reach her waist had she been standing. In it were two things that looked very similar to leaves. She wore a tranquil look on her face, but it soon turned sour. "Yuan," she began, "Why isn't the rest of the world like this place? Why must we continue to fight for the half-elves like us to have rights?" 

"I don't know, Martel," Yuan replied, a look of gloom crossing his face. The gloom was only momentary, but he soon became much more optimistic, "But we'll find a way to bring equality to the world, I just know it."

"Oh Yuan, you always know how to make me feel better," Martel said, their faces drawing closer and closer together. Time seemed to slow down, and the world was silent. Normally, this would be very romantic, except for one thing.

"Haha!" Mithos laughed while throwing a water balloon at Yuan, "Gotcha!"

The poor half-elf was soaked. He immediately stood up and faced the short, blond-haired assailant. He slowly approached him, arms raised in the air menacingly. "You little twit, I oughtta-"

"Hahahahaha," Martel giggled. Yuan turned to look back at his betrothed, who was trying to hide the obvious pleasure she took from these sudden turn of events.

"Oh come on, it's not that funny."

"Yes it is!"

"You have no right to speak, you little yellow-haired dweeb!"

"Oh yeah, wanna fight!" Mithos inquired, raising his fists and taking a defensive stance.

"I won't stoop so low as to fight a young boy," Yuan replied, folding his arms and turning away.

"Pfeh!" Mithos shouted as he lunged at Yuan. The two began to fight, and Martel simply continued to laugh, knowing they'd do no real harm to each other.

A figure dressed in purple made his way out of the bushes, pulling the struggling half-elves apart. "Mithos, return to your training. You have much to learn if you wish to save Sylvarant and Tethe'Alla."

"Oh alright, Kratos," Mithos replied. He added, in a muffled voice, "Killjoy…"

"Did you say something Mithos?"

"No," he said. The two of them began to walk away as Yuan sat down next to Martel. They slowly began to embrace once more, savoring the moment. But they interrupted once again, this time by a large, yellow figure moving so fast that they could only see a blur.

"Wakka wakka wakka!" the figure shouted as it sped by Yuan. "Wakka wakka wakka!" it screamed again as it kept going.

Yuan only watched it go before saying, "That was strange, wasn't-" He stopped abruptly as he noticed that nothing was in his arms. He waved them frantically, trying to get a feel of something anything at all. He then turned around and faced the horrible truth, Martel was no longer with him, all that remained of her was one of the leaves from her hair. "Martel! Martel! MARTEL! MARTEEEEEELLLLLL!" he anguished.

Yuan woke up in a cold sweat, yelling, "MARTEEEEEELLLLLL!" He then looked around himself, noticing that he was in a hotel room. He took a cup and got some water from the faucet. He then proceeded to down it in one gulp. He paced back and forth before he finally sat down on his bed. "It was just a nightmare… I should go back to sleep…"

* * *

Meanwhile, in the Chosen's room, Zelos was having a much different dream. "Who wants to make sweet, sweet, passionate love with the Great Zelos tonight!" he propositioned to a large group of very attractive woman. They all raised their hands enthusiastically and hopped up and down. 'It's great having an entourage!' the Chosen thought. He rubbed his chin for a moment, and then yelled, "Ah, what the heck, you can all come!" There was an overjoyed shriek from the woman as they all rushed Zelos. "Wait! Wait! We can't do it here like a bunch of hobos, just wait till we get to my mansion, then we can get down!" Once again, there was a shriek from the woman as they all struggled to suppress their hormonal urges. 

The group, of course led by the Great Zelos, made their way from Meltokio courtyard to the Chosen's Mansion. Once they reached the door, Zelos was greeted by an unpleasant surprise. "Seles, what are you doing out of the abby?"

A girl with short, pink hair barred the way to Zelos mansion, and what would be his ultimate achievement. She lifted her purse and smacked Zelos across the face with it before straightening her white, sleeveless dress. "Abby? Abby! That place is a horrible, horrible cage! I can't believe you'd send me there!"

"Oh come on, little sister," Zelos began while massaging his damaged cheek, "You're very sick and they can take care of you, what am I supposed to do?"

Seles looked up at her older brother with a face drenched in repugnance. She then looked at his large entourage attractive females, and then back at him, her face now holding a malicious smirk.

"Don't do it, Seles," Zelos pleaded.

"This man," the girl began, straightening her wide-brimmed hat, "This man is a horrible, horrible person!"

"Please Seles, don't do this to your lovable big brother!" Zelos begged, now on his knees.

"Once he's done with all of you, he'll throw you in a cage, and watch you starve to death, taunting you with very appetizing food the whole time! He'll laugh at your misery, and likely rape your relatives!" Seles yelled.

"No! It's all a lie! I'd never do something like that!" the Chosen yelled.

"Yeah, like we'd believe you!" one of the woman spat venomously.

"Come on, girls, let's go!" another one said, leading the entire entourage away from the mansion.

Zelos leapt onto one of the girl's legs, pleading, "Don't go! Don't go! No, please, don't go! For the love of Martel, don't go!" The woman only shook her leg, forcing the Chosen to let go, and continued walking away. "No! No, I was so close! That would have been the best night of my life! No! No! Noooooooo!"

Zelos fell out of his bed, a muffled "Noooooooo!" coming from his voice. He sat up and hung his head in depression, "Why Seles! Why did you have to ruin that most marvelous of marvelous nights!"

* * *

Mithos sat upon the throne of his personal castle, Vinheim. He looked around him at the emotionless angel drones who were busy doing their work. "This is the life," he sighed. Soon, a blue-haired angel ran up to him, he was wounded very badly, perhaps only having mere minutes left to live. Mithos rolled his eyes before saying, "What is it, Yuan?" 

"Dur, teh captives haff escaped, duh," Yuan said dumbly before collapsing.

"Thank you Yuan," Mithos said, getting out of his throne, "I'll be sure they give you a proper burial." He then proceeded to walk back and forth over Yuan's lifeless body several times before walking towards the door, "Or maybe I won't… Kratos!"

The brown-haired Seraph kneeled before Mithos, "What is it you desire, o Great Mithos who is better than me and has taught me everything I know?"

"Go get yourself killed in a pitiful display of heroics while attempting, but failing miserably, to capture the captives."

"Yes Lord Yggdrasil who totally owns my poor, pathetic, human soul," Kratos replied as he charged off to fight the captives.

Mithos laughed before following him, "This should be greatly amusing." The two traveled through the purple, ethereal, and regal corridors of Vinheim before they came upon the captives.

"Bunnies, by order of the all power Mithos Yggdrasil who shear awesomeness can kill me in but one hint of a thought, you are to return to your cell right now," Kratos said, striking a heroic pose.

The rabbits simply looked confused before they lunged upon the brown-haired Seraph, ripping him limb from limb with their sharp bunny incisors. "I have accomplished my goal, o great and mighty Eight-Wings of Kratos pwning…" Kratos said as he collapsed before the leader of Cruxis.

Mithos simply broke into raucous laughter, "That, haha, really was hilarious, hahaha!" The bunnies slowly advanced upon the leader of Cruxis, their teeth dripping with the blood of the fallen Seraphim. Suddenly, a golden aura surrounded the Seraph as he yelled, "You _dare_ to challenge _me_!" The bunnies then exploded into their composite atoms. "Hahahahahahaha! Fools! Did you really think you had a chance against the incredibly cool Mithos Yggdrasil who can beat the hell out of Kratos and despises Yuan! Wahahahahahahahaha!"

Mithos abruptly woke up and got out of bed. He walked over to a mirror, struck a pose, and said, "Dude. I rock!" He then struck a few more poses before climbing into bed and joining his fellow angels in sleep as they awaited for the morning to come.

* * *

The moon shone down as two men arrived on the beach to find the lifeless bodies of Tony and Maria. They glowered at each other, before one with short black hair spoke, "This is all your fault, Riff!" 

The blond-haired one narrowed his eyes even more, "Oh, stow it, Bernardo!"

Bernardo took out a switchblade from his pocket, and Riff did the same. They proceeded to fight, though it looked far more like dancing, while singing, "There's gonna be a fight, toniiiight!" over and over again.

* * *

Notes: Thank you for the reviews Brandy Mallory and RoyalFanatic. I know, no one would ever expect Lloyd to be evil, would they. And Kratos is indeed a double-agent, but he, just like Yuan, must suffer his companions. I'm glad you're enjoying it, and I hope everyone enjoys this chapter. 


	5. Chapter V: Disguises and Plans

* * *

Chapter V: Disguises and Plans

* * *

Light shown through the hallway window of the third floor of Hotel Lezareno, illuminating everything in a golden glow. The leader of Cruxis stood outside of his hotel room, leaning on it in an attempt to look cool, and doing a surprisingly good job of it. The door adjacent to him opened and the Chosen stepped out, the usual glow of his astounding beauty being dimmer than usual. "What's wrong Zelos," Mithos asked, "Upset you didn't get laid last night?" 

Zelos slowly turned his head to face his superior. "Just… remembered some past events…" he said somewhat quietly.

Mithos raised an eyebrow as if to inquire further, but stopped as Yuan's door opened. Out stepped the Seraph Master of Electricity, his hair matching that of a recently electrocuted cat. Mithos snickered. "Oh, and what's so funny?" Yuan demanded angrily.

"Your hair," the Seraph replied, continuing to laugh at Yuan's appearance.

Yuan rubbed his hand through his hair, "Look, I had a long night, can we just go already?" He began to walk towards the elevator when he was blur of pink suddenly overtook him.

"You!" Zelos yelled in a accusatory tone, "You got a girl, didn't ya! DIDN'T YA!"

"No, Zelos, I-" Yuan attempted to explain.

"Why didn't you share!" the Chosen lamented, "Why, Yuan! Why didn't you SHARE!" He then fell, becoming a pitiful, crying heap on the floor. "Why did you make them all go away, Seles?" he mumbled over and over again.

"Err…" was all that Yuan could think of to reply. He turned around after hearing a loud thump, and he saw that Mithos had also fallen on to the floor, but he was laughing hysterically. The poor blue-haired angel simply smacked his forehead and entered the elevator without his companions. It made its descent to first floor and once it arrived, Yuan stepped out into the lobby where he was greeted by another exceptionally cheerful woman dressed in a revealing bunny suit.

"Good morning sir! Did you enjoy your night in Hotel Lezareno!" she shouted exuberantly.

"No, not re-"

"Of course you did! Come back again soon!" The woman then proceeded to kick the poor angel out of the hotel. Just before he hit the concrete, he spread out his wings and hovered momentarily before landing.

"That was… unexpected," he said, dusting himself off.

"My beautiful body!"

"How rude!"

The blue-haired Seraph turned around to see the two other angels, Zelos lying flat on his back and Mithos on his head. "I see you met the greeter."

"This is an outrage!" Mithos screamed, dusting off his jumpsuit, "How dare they treat the leader of Cruxis this way! I should smite them for such insolence! Judge-"

"Cool it, Mithos," Yuan said, "We have somewhere we should be right now. Smite later." With that, the Seraph took off toward the Lezareno Company. Zelos soon followed. Mithos stood there, a raging fire in his eyes as he glared at Hotel Lezareno.

"Insolent humans," he whispered, "I shall return." He the sprouted his wings and followed the other two angels.

* * *

Regal stared at a paper that Presea had placed on his desk. He grabbed his pen and attempted sign under the Vice Presidents signature. He failed, quite miserably in fact. He tried again, and failed again. Once more he tried to sign the paper, and once more he failed. The President of the Lezareno Company tried a several more times, but met no more success. He let out a long, contemplative sigh as he stared at the paper once more. 

"You know, Regal," Presea began, having watched her friend fail repeatedly for the last hour, "You probably be able to do this if you just took off those blasted handcuffs."

"Presea, you know very well these are the-"

"Yeah, yeah, your crime. Regal, I have but three words for you: Take, Them, Off."

"But, but Mr. Snookums-"

"Forget Mr. Snookums!"

"Angst!"

"Not again…"

"Are we interrupting something?"

The Vice President turned away from the angsting teen trapped in the thirty-two year-olds body to the three angels who had just flown in through the window. "No Zelos."

"Good, because I'd assume we have some preparations to complete," Yuan said.

"Yes, plenty," Presea replied.

"Then let's get crackin'" Zelos said enthusiastically, "The sooner we finish, the sooner I rescue my hunnies."

* * *

Lloyd was, as usual, sitting upon his thrown looking quite devilish and drinking his blood red wine. Sheena sat beside him, playing a game of solitaire with her cards. The two of them sat silently as usual, but to anyone who had somehow managed to get pass Kratos and had randomly walked into the throne room, it would have been obvious that they were enjoying each other's company. Colette ran in and tripped an uncountable amount of times before reaching the throne. "Yes, what is it, maid?" the Demon Falcon asked. 

"I finished the decorating the great hall, and the corridors, and the attic that no one is allowed into," she said while kneeling before the two tyrants.

"Excellent, excellent," Lloyd replied.

"But-"

"But," Sheena began, "There should never be a but, Colette."

The maid gulped and began to twiddle her thumbs. She looked down at the ground and closed her eyes before speaking, "But those life size statues that you told me to make and put in the garden—the one's that are supposed to be incredibly lifelike—I think I may have sort of put a strand of hair in the wrong place. I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry!"

"What!" the Card Mistress yelled.

"Colette," Lloyd began, his grip tightening upon his wine glass as little cracks appeared in it, "this… is… the… last straw!" he finished, his glass shattering into several pieces. "I have had it up to here with your incompetence! You can't go anywhere without tripping! You say sorry far too much! You are horrible at cleaning things," he stopped to rub his finger across his throne, one would be unable to see any dust on his hand without the aid of a magnifying glass, "—look at this throne, it's filthy! And to top it all off, you're just not fun to mock anymore."

The poor maid only stood there, unable to think of anything. For her, it was like her entire world had shattered into tiny glass shards that were now embedding themselves into her skin.

"Can I kill her now then, Lloyd?" Sheena asked, a look of sadistic glee crossing her face.

Lloyd, who was now calm once more and had magically pulled a new wine glass out of nowhere, shook his head, "No dear Sheena. We wouldn't want our guests to find any blood on the floor, now would we?"

"Darn," Sheena sighed. She thought for a moment, and then her face considerably brightened, "Colette, go lock yourself in the dungeon. We'll come for you when we're to fully dispose of you."

Colette followed Sheena's orders, crying as she left the throne room and made her way to the dungeon. Lloyd smirked, "You're not even sending an escort with her."

"Of course not, it's not like she has a spine."

The two rulers of Castle Raptor looked at each other, and then broke out in evil laughter, "Ahahahahahahahahahahaha-" They both stopped abruptly, though, when they noticed one thing was missing. "Where's our evil music!" they shouted in unison. The court musicians promptly woke up and hurriedly began to play music that sounded oh so deliciously evil. "Much better," they said, before returning to their maniacal laughing, "Ahahahahahahahahaha!"

* * *

Two police officers were surveying Altamira Beach. They had found a man and woman dead, and two other men attempting to stab each other while sing strange songs. They were able to stop the two men, and had questioned them as to what happened here. They had each blamed the deaths of the man and woman on their opponent. Now the police officers were taking a break, trying to sort everything out. "Well, this is quite bad," said one police officer to the other one. 

"Sure is, Jim," the other replied.

"Unless either of them has access to magic, and I don't think they do, they can't be the ones who killed these two."

"Sure is, Jim."

Jim waved his hand in front of the other officer, "Are you listening to me Daniel?"

"Sure is, Jim," Daniel replied. He then fell over onto the table.

"Daniel, are you all- oof!" Jim yelled as he was smacked in the head with a staff.

"That was easy," said the staff carrier.

"Of course it was, K—err—Camilla," another man, dressed in green, said. 'Almost slipped there,' he thought.

"Camilla's a girl's name," the staff wielder said indignantly, "Let's go with… Kyle."

"Okay then," said the man in green as they approached the two men who had been questioned. "You two are Bernardo and Riff, are you not?" he asked.

"Who wants to know," Bernardo answered, slowly moving his knife not towards the two mysterious men as one would expect, but towards Riff's kidneys.

"I am Kyle," the staff wielder answered, "and this is my companion, Ro-um-"

"Rhododendron!" the man in green yelled while snapping his fingers.

"Rhododendron," Kyle repeated. "Good save," he whispered to Rhododendron.

"I know," Rhododendron replied.

Riff and Bernardo looked quizzically at the two men, and Riff spoke, "Whaddaya want?"

Rhododendron cleared his throat, "Well, we have come here to tell you that neither of you caused the death of Tony or Maria. The true culprits are two of the Four Seraphim, Yuan and Mithos, and the Chosen of Cruxis, Zelos."

The two street punks were filled with rage at this, "Where can we find these people!" they yelled in synchronization.

"We suspect that these three angels will be attending Lord Lloyd's dinner party tonight," Kyle said, leaning on his staff.

"Exactly how are we supposed to get there?" Bernardo asked, "We're on an island, recuerden?"

Kyle and Rhododendron moved out of the way to reveal to rheairds behind them. "Take those," Rhododendron said as Bernardo and Riff made their way to the rheairds. He then rummaged through his pockets to hand them two shiny orbs and two small crests each, "Take these as well, you'll need them if you hope to defeat those angels."

The two gang leaders hopped on to the rheairds, and took off. "Vengeance is mine!" they both shrieked, Bernardo adding a "¡Por orgulloso y los patos!" as well.

Kyle and Rhododendron looked at each other and simply smirked before walking away.

* * *

The rheairds landed on the ground, the moon shining of their metal chassis. The three angels landed next to them, being sure not to make a sound with their feet, but they were arguing about something. "I just don't understand why I should be the girl," the leader of Cruxis began, "I'm the boss, I shouldn't have to!" 

"But it's so becoming of your womanly figure, Mithosette," Yuan snickered while pointing to the dress Mithos wore. It was white just as his body suit was, and it reached his feet, which he wore white high heeled shoes over. His face was covered in makeup, and he wore eyeliner around his eyes and long, angel-shaped earrings on his ears. The Lord of Cruxis succeeded in looking quite womanly.

"Besides, you drew the short straw, Yggdrasilia," Zelos mocked, pushing up the sunglasses he wore to make sure they covered his eyes completely. The Chosen wore a black suit and had spray dyed his hair black and wore it in a ponytail. His blue shield was on his back while his laser blade was disguised as a microphone.

"Nice one, Zelos," Yuan commented, "Mithosette Yggdrasilia… I like it." The lightning master had slicked back his hair and he wore a rather intricate suit, not unlike Regal's. In fact, he happened to look very much like a skinnier Regal. In his hands he carried what looked like an awkwardly shaped staff.

"Boys, boys," Presea said, "If you want to stop Lloyd and Sheena, you might want to actually go in the castle."

The three angels looked at each other, shrugged, and walked toward the entrance of Castle Raptor, followed closely by Regal and Presea. There, they were greeted by a doorman, "Mmmyes? Who are you?"

Regal stepped up, made a short bow, and spoke, "I am Regal Bryant, owner and president of the Lezareno Company." He motioned toward Presea, who also made a small bow, "This is the vice president, Presea Combatir." Finally, the President motioned to the three angels, "And these are our guests."

Zelos bowed, "Name's Zealot DeWilde."

Yuan bowed, "I am Anyu Iltnight."

Mithos began to bow, but Yuan discreetly stepped on his foot, and Mithos curtsied, "My name is," the Seraph Leader shuddered involuntarily before finishing, "Mithosette Yggdrasilia…"

The doorman checked his clipboard for Regal and Presea's names and checked them off. "Mmmyes, very good, mmyes. Proceed this way," he said while gesturing to the door behind him. The group entered the great foyer, where banners were hanging from the ceiling and where hundreds of guests were already assembled.

Regal turned to face his co-worker and the three angels, "Well, we should probably split into two groups. Group A will schmooze with Lloyd and Sheena while Group B will find Kratos and get Raine and Kate out of there. Group B will then make their way to just outside the throne room and give Group A signal. We'll all regroup around the rheairds. How's that sound?"

"Works for me," Yuan said.

"No way," Mithos said, "It's not my plan, we're not doing it."

Yuan's eye twitched ever so fractionally before he asked, "Then what _is_ your plan, Mithos?"

"I propose that we form into two groups: Mithos and Yggdrasil. Mithos will distract Lloyd and Sheena with idle chitchat. Yggdrasil, on the other hand, will find Kratos who will then lead them to wherever those dastardly villains have trapped Raine and Kate. Once Yggdrasil has recovered the two scientists, they will reach objective point Cruxis Leader where they'll make some form of signal to grab Mithos's attention. Mithos and Yggdrasil will reform into Mithos Yggdrasil around the rheairds," Mithos finished telling his plan to his comrades, a smug look crossing his face. The entire group proceeded to smack their foreheads. "What?" Mithos asked.

"Mithos, that is the exact same plan Regal suggested, you just changed the words and, in all likelihood, laced it subliminal messages to worship you as a god among men," Yuan said. Mithos simply blew a raspberry at Yuan, who, in response, said, "That's very unbecoming of a woman, _Mithosette_."

"I hate you," the Seraph responded.

"I know," Yuan smirked. "Anyway, back to the point at hand, I'll find Kratos myself."

Regal looked surprised, "By yourself, that seems dangerous."

"Yes, if I'm not mistaken, your odds of success would drop to fifteen percent," Presea added.

"You seem to be forgetting to take Kratos into account," Yuan said, turning his back to the group. He began to walk away, "Besides, Kratos and I are best friends, in 4000 years you would think we've learned how to watch each other's backs." With that, the blue-haired Seraph was gone.

"Even I have to admit that was kinda cool," Mithos said, "But don't get me wrong, Yuan still sucks."

"Come on, let's go," Zelos began, walking in the direction opposite of Yuan, "We're starting to look suspicious, and looking suspicious hurts my chances with my hunnies."

"Zelos, we are not here fraternize with the opposite sex," Presea said, glaring at the Chosen as she and the others followed him.

"Aw…"

* * *

Yuan walked around a brightly lit room, looking from left to right for his brown-haired friend. He had been at this for only a few minutes, but he had already been stopped several times by people who thought he was Regal Bryant. Some wanted favors, some wanted to marry, and there was one nutjob who insisted that he resign as president and harvesting quintessence or some such. Yuan'd have to remember him and tell Regal just in case; he said his name was Galern or Nerlag or something. Finally, he spotted a shadowy corner in the bright room, and Yuan was sure he found him. "Now if I know Kratos like I think I know Kratos, he should be right-" 

"Hello Yuan," the Seraph of Judgement said. "Enjoying the party?"

"Shhh! Shhh! Not so loud, Kratos," the Seraph Master of Lightning replied.

"Sorry," Kratos apologized, in a tone that did not sound particularly apologetic, nor did it seem to have any other emotion in it. "I assume your ready."

"Of course," he said, pointing to his staff.

"Then let us go," Kratos said, leading Yuan to the dungeon.

* * *

Lloyd and Sheena stood in front of their thrones, shaking hands with many guests, and looking generally jovial. "Ah, nice to see you again," the two said over and over again. Soon, Lloyd spotted the president and vice president of the Lezareno Company and he rushed over to them. "Regal! Presea! How nice it is to see you again!" 

"It is quite a pleasure to see you again, Lloyd," Regal replied, taking Lloyd's outstretched hand and entering a conversation that was really about nothing.

"Sheena, you look… nice," Presea said, looking at Sheena's beautiful, but rather revealing dress.

"Jealous?" Sheena asked with a smirk while pointing to Presea's suit.

"I should think I wouldn't be-"

"Girls, girls," Zelos said, walking up from behind Presea, "No need to start hurling insults at each other." He rapped his arms around both women and pulled them close in what would look to most people like a group of long time friends hugging, but, being Zelos, it was most certainly far more suggestive. "You're both quite attractive."

Both women grabbed Zelos hands and moved them off of their bodies. "You seem familiar," Sheena remarked after taking a closer inspection of Zelos's face, "Do I know you?"

Zelos look flustered momentarily, but regained his cool. He bowed and struck a pose, "Name's Zealot DeWilde! Lady killer extraordinaire!"

"Charmed," the Card Mistress replied sarcastically.

The Chosen smirked in an attempt to look sexy, and he succeeded in garnering the attention of many women, Mithos among them, but not for the same reasons. "Zealot!" he said in a panicked tone, "You've got to help me! The men! They won't leave me alone! What's worse is they've all got to be in their nineties!"

Several elderly men, some in wheel chairs, others using canes, approached the Seraph Leader yelling catcalls. "Hey there, hot stuff!" one shouted.

"See! See! They're coming for me! They're coming for _me_!" Mithos shrieked in terror.

Zelos laughed, "Looks like you've got yourself a fan club, Mithosette."

"Aw man!" Mithos yelled before running away.

* * *

The doorman looked up from his clipboard into the faces of two young men, "Mmmmmyes?" The two men simply looked at each other before stabbing the doorman with their switchblade. "Mmmmnoooo!" the doorman yelled before slumping over. 

"There's gonna be another fiiiight, toniiiiiight!" they sung as they charged into the castle.

* * *

Notes: I'm glad everyone's enjoyed Mithos's dream. We all know just how smug that angel is, it's only fitting he'd have a dream in which he is better than everyone else. Oh, and if anyone knows who Kyle and Rhododendron are, don't spoil it for the people who didn't figure it out. Sure, I didn't hide it particularly well, but some people might not know. So, once again, I'm glad everyone's enjoying the story.  



	6. Chapter VI: Party Crashers

* * *

Chapter VI: Party Crashers

* * *

"Exactly how much farther do we have to go, Kratos," Yuan asked as the two Seraphim floated down a dark corridor. 

"Not much farther," the solemn man replied as he opened a door. Inside, there were several jail cells, but only three were currently occupied. "In fact, we're here."

"Kratos!" yelled the teal-haired professor as she ran toward the bars of her cage, "Your finally back! I was becoming tired of thinking of excuses to tell Lloyd on why the Mana Cannon doesn't work."

"As was I," the silver-haired professor agreed.

Both Kratos and Yuan looked surprised. "Thor's Hammer is operational!" Yuan asked.

"You two already figured it out?" Kratos inquired as he and Yuan opened the locks to the scientists' cages.

"Yes," Raine and Kate replied as they stepped out of their cells.

"Come on," Yuan said, grabbing Kate's hand, sprouting his wings, and turning to exit the dungeon. Before he could leave, there was a tug at his arm and he turned back to face the scientist, "What?"

"There's someone else in here," she said.

"Who-" he began, but he was interrupted by Raine.

"Colette," she said, pointing to a cell in the darkest corner of the dungeon.

The four of them walked over to the cell where the blonde-headed girl was sitting, her hands in her knees. She looked up, noticing that the two professors were free, and turned around to face the corner. "Please go away," she asked calmly.

"Colette, we are here to let you out," Kratos replied as he reached for the lock.

"No! Don't!" she yelled, quickly spinning around.

The party of four looked surprised. They each looked at one another and then back at the maid. "Why?" the Seraph Master of Lightning asked.

"I…" she began, taking a deep breath, "I haven't spoken to Lloyd yet…"

"Why, in the name of Sylvarant, would you want to talk to that—that—that monster!" Raine yelled.

"Because… I… I just want to, okay!" she said, spinning back around to face the wall.

Once again the party looked at each other as if one of them carried the answer to this predicament. After failing to retrieve any sort of solution from any of his companions, Yuan spun around and began to walk away. "Suit yourself," he said coldly.

"We can't just leave her here!" Kate screamed, grabbing on to Yuan's suit jacket.

"We have a job to do, and if she wants to be stubborn, let her stay."

"But-" the teal-headed scientist stopped when Kratos placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure no harm comes to her. But first," he then grabbed her hand and sprouted his wings, "we've got a job to do." He then took off down the same corridor he came.

Yuan snatched up Raine in his arms, "Come on, or we're going to get lost." He blasted down the hallway to catch up to his friend, who was flying quite fast and giving Kate what seemed to be motion sickness. When he did catch up, he asked, "What's your hurry, Kratos? You're usually more cautious."

"Something doesn't feel right," the Seraph of Judgement replied gravely.

Yuan shrugged, "Well it's a good thing you're moving so fast."

"Why?"

"Because I have this strange feeling things are about to go awry."

* * *

In the throne room of Castle Raptor, Group A continued to schmooze with the big shots—well, all of them except Mithos who had busied himself with running away from lecherous old men—and things were proceeding more or less as planned. Zelos had managed to only get smacked ten times within the past hour, Presea had managed not to attack Sheena, and Regal had managed to only say the word angst three times. 

"So Lloyd, what exactly have you been up to?" Regal asked.

"Planning the conquest of the world, rebuilding the Mana Cannon, you know, the usual," the Demon Falcon replied.

The two shared a laugh at Lloyd's remark, before Regal said, "Funny! Funny! But seriously, what have you been up to?" It wasn't difficult for Regal to hide his disgust, but in his mind, he thought, 'He outright told me his plan… Of course, I already knew, but still… That must mean something's going well… Boy do I like ellipses…'

"Truthfully, I've been travelling around, finding homes for orphaned children," Lloyd lied. His face brightened as tears began to form in his eyes and he said, "Ah, those children and their beautiful smiling faces! They were all depending on me!… But I couldn't help them all! Why couldn't I help them all!"

Regal placed his hand on the young tyrant's shoulder. He hung his head trying to hide his shame, "Lloyd, you are a much better person than I. All I do is sit around and think about my crimes when I should be helping the children. Oh Martel! I've committed another grievous sin against Aselia! Why! Why can't I be better! Angst!" The Demon Falcon patted Regal's back, turning his head so that no one could see as a look of bewilderment crossed his face at the strange outburst of President Lezareno. After calming himself, Regal had prepared himself to speak again, but before he could, there was a large crash as a table was knocked over. Both he and Lloyd looked to where the sound had come from, trying to discern what it was over the mass panic of the guests. Soon they were able to locate the spot as the mass of people scattered away, frantically running out of the room screaming like lunatics. There stood two men, one with blond hair, and the other with black hair. They both did some sort of dance before sliding on their knees and landing only a few feet before the president and the lord.

"Who are you and what are you doing at my party?" Lloyd asked coolly, cocking an eyebrow.

The two turned their heads, looked at each other, and grinned before the blonde-headed one answered. "Meet a guy, pull up a chair! The air is humming and something great is coming!" he sung.

"What the heck," Zelos said after he, Presea, and Sheena took notice of the two strange men.

The two men stood up and stood back to back. "Name's Riff," the blond one said.

"Me llama Bernardo," the black-haired one said.

They both pointed at once to Zelos and shouted, "And we're here to kill you, Zelos Wilder!"

"I _knew_ it!" Sheena shrieked as she smacked Zelos in the head. "I knew it was you Zelos! No other man could be so perverse! Or so-"

"Unbelievably, stunningly, handsome!"

"No!" and Sheena smacked the Chosen again, leaving a large red mark on his face.

"Calm down Sheena," Lloyd said as he walked over to the Card Mistress. "What were you planning Zelos?" he asked the Chosen smugly.

Zelos was rubbing his cheek where he was smacked, "Nothin' you need to know."

"Very well then," the Demon Falcon replied, "Do as you please, I don't care."

"Enough of this!" the street punks yelled as they began to snap, "We came here to fight, and we're gonna do it!" The two of them crouched somewhat and began to advance toward the Chosen, snapping the entire time. "So," they began as they pulled out switchblades, "Let's fight!" they shouted while jumping toward the air. Zelos flew backwards as Sheena, Lloyd, and Presea dodged to the side.

A voice that everyone had forgotten let out a shout, "Hey, we are not doing this if there's no stunningly awesome battle music!"

"So you brought Mithos along as well?" Lloyd asked, turning his head toward Presea.

The woman pulled out an axe and swung at the tyrant as she answered, "Of course!" Lloyd easily moved out of the way of the axe.

"Silly Presea. Why do you-"

"Seriously!" the Seraph Leader yelled as he ripped off his dress, "No music, no fight!"

Suddenly, Mithos was grabbed from behind, a switchblade held at his throat, "You want music?" Bernardo said threateningly.

"We'll give you music!" Riff shouted as he lunged at Zelos once again. Zelos evaded the blow and Mithos grabbed his attacker, throwing him off of his body.

The two gang leaders burst into song as Bernardo regained his composure, "Boy, boy, crazy boy. Get cool boy!"

Mithos, Zelos, Regal, Presea, Lloyd, and Sheena all looked at each other puzzled before saying, "What kinda crap is this?"

"Got a rocket in you pocket," the two continued singing while they took rocket launchers out of seemingly nowhere, aiming them at the Seraph Leader and the Chosen. "Get coolly cool boy!" they shouted as they fired the rockets at the two angels, who evaded them with ease.

"Okay, that's it, no more Mr. Nice Pretty Boy!" Zelos and Mithos yelled as they charged the two street punks, knocking them into opposite walls.

Riff hit the wall hard and sagged to the floor. His eyes were half closed and with his last breath, he sung, "When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way… From your first cigarette to your last… dying… day…" before he fell onto the floor.

Bernardo hit the wall just as hard as his companion, leaving a dent in it. He pointed at Mithos weakly before singing, "A boy like that… he'd kill… my… sister…" He, too, fell to the floor.

"That was easy," Zelos said, brushing himself off and smiling cockily.

"Yeah! Well this won't be!" Sheena yelled as she lunged at the Chosen, the orchestra finally remembering to play something dramatic.

"Yipe!" Zelos yelled, jumping backward and grabbing his shield from his back.

Lloyd smiled as he unsheathed a blade, "Finally, those idiot musicians do something right!" He charged at Regal, who barely avoided the slash of the mighty Demon Falcon's blade.

'He doesn't even deem us worthy of two swords!' Regal thought as he steadied himself to counter the attack, 'Much less the Vorpal Blade!"

Mithos struck a pose as guitar riffs began to play over the orchestral music, "Yggdrasil! Transform!" Once again, wheels popped out of nowhere only to disappear while there were strange metallic noises and a chorus shouting something about Transformers and disguises. Soon the Seraph Leader was in his teenage form. "Let's see how well you do against me!" he shouted as he charged the two rulers of Castle Raptor.

* * *

"Is that 'Beat the Angel' I hear?" Yuan asked as the two angels and scientists sped down another corridor, "… And guitar riffs?" 

"Which I might add don't sound very good over the music," Raine added.

Kratos's face grew more solemn, "They must be fighting, let us hurry!" With that, the two angels sped up to an unbelievable speed.

Kate's face grew very, oh so very, puce and she covered her mouth. "I feel ill…" she said, trying to restrain the need to vomit caused by the high velocities.

"Kratos," Yuan began.

"Yes."

"Take Raine and fly to the rheairds. They're just outside the castle," he ordered while handing the brown-headed Seraph the silver-headed scientist and readying his swallow.

Kratos struggled to find a position in which he could carry both half-elves. Once he found it, placing Raine on his back and carrying Kate in his arms, he guessed at Yuan's intentions, "Worried about losing your only contact in this castle?"

"Of course," the blue-haired half-elf replied. "Losing our inside man at this stage in the game would leave us at a huge disadvantage."

"Agreed," Kratos said as the group reached an area just outside the throne room where the clanging of swords could be heard. "Right then, you make sure everyone else gets out of here alive, I'll make sure these two get away.

* * *

"Regal, Presea, Zelos, cover me!" Mithos ordered as the other three attempted to fend off the attacks of the two rulers of Castle Raptor. He began to glow a pinkish glow as feathers surrounded him, "Sacred powers, smite these twisted beings with my awesomely awesome power. Alright now, taste my incredibly cool and awesomely awesome Judgement!" Several beams of light shot down from the air, striking the ground multiple times. Sheena seemed to dodge the beams with ease, but Lloyd did something different. 

"Is that all the power you have, Mithos?" Lloyd asked as he stuck his sword into the air. One of the beams struck the sword and seemingly channeled through the tyrant's body. He pointed his other hand at the leader of Cruxis and the very same beam he absorbed shot out, "I was expecting a bit more."

A horrified look appeared on the angel's face as his own attack was directed back at him. He braced himself for the impact, but it never came. In front of him was a giant blade of electricity stuck in the ground. It crackled momentarily before disappearing and leaving the Seraph Leader unscathed. "Took you long enough, Yuan!" he shouted as the Seraph Master of Lightning flew beside him, his disguise now off as well.

"Well sorry," he said, readying his swallow, "I was a bit busy with our mission."

"Yeah, yeah."

"A little help here!" Zelos shouted as he evaded the razor sharp edges of Sheena's magical cards.

"You disgusting, vile, perverted-" Sheena yelled as she swiped at the Chosen's face.

"I'd love to help-" Regal shouted, ducking under Lloyd's sword, "But I'm a tad bit busy at the moment."

The Chosen simply groaned as the Card Mistress continued to slash at his face, "-deceitful, distasteful-"

"It's bad enough ya have to try to kill me," Zelos began, preparing his laser blade for a counterattack, "But do you have to call me names too!" The angel swung his blade with surprising force, but Sheena simply spun around, avoiding it. She continued whirling and lifted her foot into the air, delivering a spinning kick to the Chosen and knocking him into Yuan, who both promptly fell over.

"This is pathetic," Sheena yawned as she started to stretch her limbs out of boredom.

"I'll show you pathetic!" Presea yelled, readying her axe at her side, "Endless Infliction!" Presea swung her axe upward in the shape of a crescent moon, she did so one more time, lifting herself into the air, and then slammed her axe against the ground. Finally, she swung her axe into one more crescent moon motion. "Take that, you skank!"

The Card Mistress was sent flying head-first toward a wall, but before she hit it, she swung her feet behind her and equally distributed her "wall-landing" between her legs and arms, looking not unlike a spider. She pushed herself off of the wall back at Presea, a murderous look on her face, "Why you?" she screamed as she kicked Presea onto the pile where Zelos was struggling to get off of a very vexed Yuan. "Know your place!"

"Presea!" Regal yelled, taking his attention away from the Demon Falcon for just a moment. He was soon caught in the face with said Falcon's elbow and was sent flying onto the pile Tethe'Allans on the floor of the throne room. "Ow…" He said as he got up off them, the others following suit. He shook his head before saying, "Chi Healer." A green glow surrounded him and he seemed to be filled with his former vigor. He proceeded to use this spell on his companions, who each began to feel much better afterwards.

"This is going wonderfully, isn't it?" Mithos said, having noticed that he was the only one who had not been in the pile on the floor.

"Just shut up Mithos," Yuan replied, tightening his grip on his swallow.

* * *

Kratos made his way around the garden to where the rheairds awaited. It took only moments before he reached his destination, where both scientists got off of him. The teal-headed one fell to her knees and made retching noises as the silver-headed one approached the rheairds. She looked back at the Seraph of Judgement, who simply said, "Quickly, get on and get out of here." 

Kate, having recovered from her motion sickness rather swiftly, mounted a rheiard; Raine seemed to be studying the thing. "This is a simply marvelous specimen of magitech-"

"Get on, Raine," Kate said as her rheaird hovered over the ground.

"Go, I'll make sure she gets to the Lezareno Company in one piece," Kratos ordered. Kate simply shrugged and took off at top speed into the night.

Raine began to get onto her rheaird, stopping halfway through when she noticed a large staff behind the brown-haired Seraph's head. "Kratos!" she yelled, trying to warn him of the danger that lurked behind him.

"Wah-urggh!" he yelled as the staff came crashing upon his head. Kratos slumped over onto the ground as two men walked up to, and took hold of, Raine.

"Well, that was easy enough," the staff-wielder said.

"Yes, and it didn't even involve trickery," a man in green replied.

"What do you two want with me," Raine shouted as she struggled to escape the grip of the two men.

"You're going back to work on that Mana Cannon," the green one answered.

"Well, darn it all…" Raine sighed dejectedly, already busy putting her mind to work on new ways to convince Lloyd that Thor's Hammer wasn't ready.

* * *

Things were not going well for our heroes, as each one was repeatedly knocked back to where they had been previously piled. No matter where they struck, the Tyrants would just parry the blow and throw them back. The entire group was exhausted, and this was voiced by everyone's favorite whiney Chosen, "Okay, I'm runnin' out of TP and I am _tired_. Anyone got any orange gels?" Everyone shook their heads, signifying that they had no such gels. "Shoot!" 

"Now what!" Yuan asked, determination still in his eyes.

"We strike one last blow!" Regal shouted.

"No!" Mithos roared, "We strike one _final_ blow!"

"That meant the same thing!" Zelos screamed.

"Just shut up and _attack_!" Presea shrieked.

"All together now," the five of them shouted in unison.

"Double Demon Fang!" the Chosen screamed.

"Holy Lance!" the Lord of Cruxis yelled.

"Thunder Blade!" the Seraph Master of Lightning shouted.

"Deadly Destruction!" the Axe Blossom erupted.

"Spin Kick!" President Lezareno roared as he kicked a large tile removed from the floor towards Sheena and Lloyd. The attacks charged forward, but each one was either deflected or dodged by the two Tyrants. 

"Well, I'm spent," Zelos said, placing his hands on his knees.

"We're just too tired to effectively do anything; we've only achieved what I'd estimate to be thirty percent output," Presea stated.

The Demon Falcon shook his head before lunging towards the group of heroes, "Well isn't that just too bad." He readied his blade, and was about to swing it when-

"Chaaaarge Shot! NEEOOW!" came a heroic voice as a large beam came from behind Cruxis, hitting Lloyd square in the face and pushing him back.

"Lord Yggdrasil!" came another voice, this one feminine.

"Glory to the coming age that won't be ruled by Lloyd!" came a third, gruff voice.

Mithos sighed in relief, "That shot… those voices… it could only mean…"

A woman in a rather revealing red bodysuit and a strange metallic, separated cape floated next to Mithos. Behind her stood a man with red hair, a pole axe, and a purple vest with no shirt. At the door way was a third man with a large cannon around his arm and an eye patch over his eye. This man was taking a knee, his arm cannon in front of his good eye because he was the one who had fired the shot.

Lloyd went into a blind rage, "Is there anyone _else_ who'd like to crash my party!"

The three strangely dressed people looked at one another and smirked. The woman began, "To protect the world from devastation!"

The gunman answered, "To unite all peoples within our nation!"

"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"

"To extend our reach to the stars above!"

"Pronyma!"

"Forcystus!"

"Grand Cardinals blast off at the speed of light!"

"Surrender now or prepare to fight!"

"That's right!" the red-headed one chimed in.

A large vain appeared on Sheena's forehead, "We know who you are!" she shouted. She pointed at each one in turn, "Pronyma," she pointed at the woman, "Forcystus," she pointed at the gunman, "and Magnius," she pointed at the axeman, "Prepare to die!" She lunged forward in an attempt to attack three of the Five Grand Cardinals.

"Leonazium!" Pronyma screamed as a lion head appeared and knocked Sheena back. "Magnius! Forcystus! Diversion! Now!"

"You got it boss lady!" Magnius shouted.

"Right away!" Forcystus complied.

"Flame Lance!"

"Air Thrust!"

A beam of red light struck the ground, creating a fire in front of the Tyrants. The fire was the raised significantly by the sudden green swirls of air that surrounded it, creating some sort of miniature firestorm. Taking their chance to escape, the group ran out of the throne room and out of the castle towards the rheairds. They passed a bush that seemed, for a brief moment, to move though there was no wind. As they ran, the group began to talk amongst themselves.

"So, Megaman," Zelos began, "How's it shakin'"

"My name is not Megaman!" Forcystus replied indignantly.

"Sorry, X," Zelos apologized.

"My name is Forcystus!" Forcystus yelled, Zelos simply snickered.

"Keep up the pace you two," Yuan ordered.

"Right, right, whatever," Zelos replied.

"My apologies, Lord Yuan," Forcystus answered.

"So Mithos, can we-" Pronyma began.

"No!" Mithos shouted, "I told you I'm not ready for… that…"

"But I-"

"No, Pronyma!"

"Would you two get married and get it over with?" Presea asked jokingly. Mithos simply blushed nervously while Pronyma grew large hearts in her eyes.

"I don't think they-" Regal abruptly stopped when he noticed Kratos's limp body on the ground. The group stopped behind him, each one looking in shock at the sight in front of them. "What the blazes!"

Kratos began to push himself up off of the ground, Yuan rushing to his side and giving him a shoulder to lean on. He shook his head in an attempt to regain a grasp of reality before speaking, "Argh… What happened?"

"Judging from your demeanor, I would assume you took a blow to the head Lord Kratos," Forcystus guessed.

"Raine?"

"Excuse me, sir?"

"What happened to Raine and Kate?"

"Judging from the fact that only one rheaird remains," Forcystus began, gesturing to the rheaird, "One of them escaped and the other was recaptured or they're both riding the same rheaird."

"I have failed…"

Yuan patted his shoulder sympathetically, "Don't worry about it Kratos, even if Lloyd still has one of them, that one person is quite capable of lying quite effectively to Lloyd's face."

"Hmm…"

"What?"

"I suggest you get out of here; it's quite obvious that you are in no shape for any further rescue operations on this night."

"But Kratos, we can't leave a cool beauty stuck in this dreadful castle," Zelos injected.

"And the world has no hope if any of you die," Kratos replied dissaprovingly.

"Oh… So a tactical retreat then?" Zelos asked unsurely.

"Yes, now get going!" Kratos commanded sharply. The administrators of the Lezareno Company climbed onto the remaining rheaird, the Desian Five Grand Cardinals walked away, where it can be assumed they found the form of transportation they arrived on, and the angels sprouted their wings. All except Mithos.

"Kratos!" he roared, "You are not the leader of Cruxis, you do not give the orders!"

"Listen to your teacher, Mithos," Kratos said rather fearsomely, yet coolly. Mithos shivered and sprouted his wings. Everone took off for the Lezareno Company Headquarters, flying speedily through the air. Kratos turned around and began to walk away, being thankful for his rather large and pointy head of brown hair that obscured the bump he must have had.

Before Yuan got to far away, he turned around, taking hold of his swallow, and flew back towards Kratos. He swung it at the Seraph of Judgement, who turned around at the last second and blocked it with his shield. Yuan smirked, "So it was just a fluke then?"

"Fear that I am unfit for my job?" Kratos replied, smirking as well.

"Fear that you've gotten rusty." Yuan placed his swallow back onto his back and Kratos relaxed his arm.

"No, I'm fine."

Yuan once again took off into the air, "Keep you guard up," he warned before rejoining the others who had left quite awhile ago.

* * *

"My beloved castle!" Lloyd yelled, having finally fanned the flames that had ravaged his throne room. 

"Those dreadful-" Sheena began, only to be interrupted by a voice that had entered the room.

"Lord Lloyd, Lady Sheena, we have returned," a man dressed in blue stated.

"Bearing a gift," a man in green added.

"Kv-" Lloyd was interrupted.

"Kyle, sir," Kyle corrected.

"Then you are calling yourself?"

"Rhododendron, sire," Rhododendron answered.

"What kind of fool name is Rhododendron!" Sheena yelled, patting the soot off of her dress.

"I had to come up with something, ma'am."

"You said you have gifts," Lloyd scrutinized, "And why are you holding Raine between you?"

"Took you long enough to notice," Raine spat. She was promptly shushed by Kyle.

"Our gift is Raine," Rhododendron began, "She was trying to escape. Lord Kratos was assisting her, which is what is truly strange."

"This does not surprise me in the least," Lloyd replied. "I have had my doubts about Kratos's loyalty from the very beginning."

"Oh, does that mean we can kill him!" Sheena asked excitedly.

"No, let him go on thinking we suspect nothing, we may learn something from him," Lloyd said smugly. He than began to laugh maniacally, music befitting his evilness joined him.

"How are they still _alive_?" Raine questioned while pointing to the group of horribly charred and bruised musicians who had begun to play. She got a shrug as response from everyone in the room except for Lloyd, who was too engrossed in his cackling to notice her question.

* * *

Notes: As usual, I'm quite happy that everyone is enjoying the story. I know it seems random, and it mostly is, but there is some underlying plot, as loose as it may be. On another note, yes, Rhododendron is incredibly fun to say, and yes, Lloyd loves his blood red wine.

* * *


	7. Chapter VII: Not Starring Cloud

* * *

Chapter VII: Not Starring Cloud

* * *

Kate paced back and forth in front of the entrance to the Lezareno Company. "Oh… What happened to Raine? Does her absence mean Kratos was killed?" she worried while caressing her forehead and adjusting the positioning of her glasses on her face. 

"Lord Kratos is fine, and so is Professor Raine," came a feminine voice in the darkness. Kate looked up into the face of a green-haired woman in a revealing bodysuit. Next to her stood a man with a gun for an arm and a man with an open purple vest.

"Who are you?" Kate inquired.

The three of them nodded to each other and each struck a pose. "I'm Magnius!" the purple clad one blared.

"And I'm Pronyma!" cried the woman.

"And together we are called the-" Magnius and Pronyma struck another pose before continuing, "Mon Colle Knights!"

Kate simply blinked a few times before taking an even more surprised step backward. The gunman, on the other hand, smacked his own forehead and shook his head. He pointed at his two comrades and began shouting, "We are not the Mon Colle Knights! Unless you want to travel to a monster world, wear strange clothes, and yell something about "doing it with us" or something." Pronyma and Magnius simply shook their heads sheepishly. "I thought so… We are three of the Five Desian Grand Cardinals. My name is Forcystus," he stated, taking a bow.

"Why are you here?" Kate asked.

"We are here to destroy the disgusting vermin of this world!" Magnius yelled, his eyes lighting up while he struck yet another pose. He soon stopped when he was met with the disapproving glares of his fellow Cardinals. "Err… what I meant to say was that we're here with Cruxis… they're just not here yet…"

"So what exactly happened to Kratos and Raine?"

"It would seem that Lord Kratos suffered a blow to the back of the head shortly after you left. After that, someone or something took Raine back to Lloyd," Forcystus explained.

"Oh Raine…" Kate sighed, "You just had to fawn over the rheaird first, didn't you?"

The four of them stood in silence, none of them having anything else to say at the moment. This silence was incredibly awkward and the only sounds came from the occasional cricket chirp and the drunken cheers coming from the giant casino in another part of Altamira. For a few minutes more the silence dragged on, that is, until Magnius decided to break it, "So, uh… Anybody for strip poker?"

Kate cringed at the idea while the Cardinals seemed completely unfazed. "D-do you have any c-c-cards with you?" the teal headed scientist stammered.

Magnius scratched the back of his head, rubbed his chin, and searched his pockets, coming up with nothing. He then proceeded to scratch Forcystus's head, rub his chin, and search his pockets, and he still found nothing. Next, he moved on to Pronyma. He scratched her hat, rubbed her chin, and rummaged through his own pockets again because Pronyma had none. Finally, he walked over to the astonished Kate, who hurriedly went through the motions he had performed on everyone else simply to avoid any awkward moments. Seeing that she had none, Magnius answered the original question, "No…"

"Then shut up," Pronyma ordered. Magnius simply let out an exasperated sigh before silence fell over the group again.

A few moments passed before the red headed Cardinal attempted conversation again, "Nice weather we're havin'? Nice and sunny."

"It's the middle of the night…" Kate stated as she stared at the moon.

"Right…"

Again, a blanket of silence covered the four of them as faint shouts of "You cheated!", "Give me my money, dammit!", and "I's a little's tea's pot's short and stout's…" were heard.

"So-"

"Magnius!" Pronyma roared.

"Yes, Pronyma?"

"Shut up and wait for Lord Stud Muffin… er… Lord Yggdrasil to arrive!" she barked.

"Yes, Lady Pronyma," Magnius obeyed. "Stupid fangirl," he added under his breath. Pronyma glared at him and he shrugged innocently. Once again they were shrouded in silence as the four of them awaited the arrival of the two Seraphim and the Chosen of Tethe'Alla. Kate continued her pacing as she worried for her friend and the members of Cruxis. The Cardinals just stood there staring up into the sky.

A few moments passed before they were able to make out three humanoid shapes and what looked something like a bird crossed with a motorcycle in the distance. Pronyma's eyes lit up and became heart shaped as she began to float in the air and yell, "Lord Yggdrasil!" over and over again. As the group got closer, Pronyma took off into the sky crashing into one of the figures and sending him straight to the ground below, all the while continuing her incessant screaming of "Lord Yggdrasil!" The other Cardinals simply sighed while Kate looked on in shock.

"Pronyma…" Mithos whined as he tried to get the rabid Cardinal off of him, rather unsuccessfully it might be added, "We don't have time for this…"

"Lord Yggdrasil!" Pronyma screamed as she clung to the Seraph Leader ever tighter.

"Why does Mithos get the hottie?" Zelos groaned as he, Yuan, and the Lezareno Company Heads landed on the ground.

"Can't you keep your libido in check for more than a few seconds?" Yuan sighed.

"But it's just not-" the Chosen stopped when he noticed Kate standing there with a distraught look on her face. He quickly zoomed over to the Scientist and asked, "What's wrong, my pulchritudinous philosopher?"

"Oh, for the love of Martel…" Yuan droned.

"We have to go back! We have to save Raine! Once Lloyd figures out that the Mana Cannon is operational, he'll do horrible things to her and then to the world!" Kate urgently yelled as she looked at the Chosen with unintentional sad, puppy dog, eyes.

A new resolve was installed into Zelos's being as fire appeared in eyes. "Ya heard this hot lady!" he shouted into the night, "We've gotta go save the other sexy scientist from that evil tyrant!" He sprouted his wings once more and took off, only to have his leg grabbed by the President of the Lezareno Company. "Hey! Let go of me, we've got work to do!"

"Incase you weren't paying attention, Zelos," Regal began, "We don't stand a chance against Lloyd or Sheena, let alone both of them at once." Zelos calmed down and landed on the ground once more, seeming to have actually taken what Regal said to heart. "Besides," the President continued, "Even if we could fight them equally, we're in no condition to do so right now."

"I suggest we try again in a week," Yuan injected.

"A week!" Kate screamed, "Raine might not last that long with Sheena's temper!"

"We're going to need to train if we want so much as simply last against those two, let alone eventually defeat them."

"Then we're going to need more than a-" Regal started, only to be interrupted by Mithos disgruntled moaning.

"Stop kissing me Pronyma," he whined, "We have work to do…"

"Oh, c'mon Mithos!" Pronyma whined.

"… Anyway," Regal continued, ignoring the pathetic sight of the Leader of the Cardinals attempting to make out with the leader of Cruxis and the latter not allowing it, "we're going to need more than a week."

Yuan tapped his forehead and smirked, "You seem to be forgetting something Regal."

Regal cocked an eyebrow and looked at Yuan, and then at Presea, who had been standing there silently throughout the entire conversation thus far. "There is a one-hundred percent chance he is going to talk about the monsters indigenous to this area," she stated.

"Exactly. If we fight the monsters, we'll not only be doing the guests in Altamira a favor, but we'll get stronger faster than any other form of training," the Seraph Master of Lightning nodded, rather pleased with himself and his idea.

"This sounds strangely like something out of a game, but it seems that it'll work," Regal thought aloud.

"Yeah, not a bad idea, boss man," Zelos chimed in.

"I'm the only boss man around here!" Mithos sputtered from in-between Pronyma's kisses. The group simply looked at the man as he tried to escape the Cardinal's clutches and they all let out a sigh.

"…Well then, I suggest we all go to bed if we want to get up bright and early and go monster hunting," Presea said, slightly disgusted by the pathetic sight of Mithos Yggdrasil attempting to get away from Lady Pronyma. "I kept your rooms reserved for you," she said to Yuan and Zelos. She turned to Forcystus and handed him a card, "Since you seem to be the sanest of the Cardinals, I'm putting you in charge of getting rooms. This card will get you three adjacent rooms, free of charge."

"Thank you Ms. Combatir," Forcystus thanked with a bow.

"You people tire me, I'm going to bed," Presea said as she headed to the tram to take a ride to the residential area of Altamira, "I'll see you guys at six."

"You know, she's hot when she's vexed," the Chosen whispered in Regal's ear.

"Shut up, Zelos," the President of Lezareno replied as he began walking after her to head to his own house.

"Touchy, touchy…" Zelos sighed as he folded his arms.

"Did I miss anything?" Mithos asked, having finally gotten away from the clingy Cardinal, huffing as he wiped off his jumpsuit.

"We're going back to the hotel, and we're to meet here at six o'clock," Yuan replied.

"Sounds good to me," Mithos said as he took off in the direction of Hotel Lezareno, Pronyma only mere feet behind him.

Yuan and Zelos blinked a few times as they watched Mithos go. "Wow, he must be tired; he didn't even yell anything about that not being his plan or that the hotel employees deserve a smiting…" Yuan observed.

"Yeah, I bet that Pronyma is a be-"

"Shut up, Zelos."

"Hmph… Hey! I wonder if Lily's still on shift."

* * *

Yuan walked out of his room, stretching and looking through the window in the hallway. 'I haven't slept that well in a long time. Nothing can kill my mood!' he thought to himself. 

"Mmmmmmmm…" Mithos groaned.

'Dammit.' The Seraph Master of Electricity let out a sigh and looked at his companion, who looked a royal wreck. His hair was mussed, his clothes were horribly wrinkled, and he had rather large bags under his eyes. "What's wrong, Mithos?"

"Mithos! MITHOS! MiThOS!" Pronyma shrieked over and over again.

"That…" Mithos groaned as he pointed to the leader of the Five Desian Grand Cardinals.

"I hear an exuberant woman and a tired male, did I miss something?" Zelos asked, poking his head of shining red hair out of the door.

"It seems a certain Cardinal kept our 'Great Leader' up all night… Doing what, I don't want to know…"

"She just wouldn't stop fawning over me and telling me stories…" Mithos moaned, "And she wouldn't go back to her own room… I couldn't get any sleep…"

"I'm sure they had fun," Zelos smirked. He then turned his head down before saying, "Don'tcha think, my voluptuous hunnie?" The receptionist's head popped out under Zelos's and she simply giggled before nodding in agreement.

Yuan massaged his temples and took a great big sigh, "I just can't escape can I?"

"Nope, you're stuck with us," Zelos said cheerfully.

"Well, drat it all."

* * *

"Kratos," Lloyd began calmly as he took a sip of his patented blood red wine, "are you aware that Kate escaped and Raine almost made it out with her?" He adjusted the way he sat on his now ruined throne. 

Kratos kneeled before the Tyrant, attempting to come up with a convincing lie.

"Well!" Sheena questioned impatiently.

"I am afraid that the vast majority of last night is a blur as I was taken by surprise by Cruxis on their way onto the premises," the brown-headed knight stated emotionlessly.

"What good are you if you can't keep pathetic lowlifes like that out of our castle!" Sheena roared, lifting one of her cards menacingly. She began to advance on the kneeling knight, "I ought to kill you right now!" She stopped when Lloyd placed his hand on her shoulder. She turned to look at the Demon Falcon, who simply smiled. "You're lucky Lloyd doesn't want his daddy dead."

"Thank you, Lady Sheena," Kratos said, not daring to lift his head and look at either of the rulers of Castle Raptor.

Lloyd took another sip of his wine before going on, "Your life is spared Kratos, but that doesn't mean you won't be punished."

"Any punishment, Lord Lloyd."

"I'm glad to hear that, Kratos, because you have exactly one week to put this castle back together the way it was before those buffoons ruined it."

"As you command, Lord Lloyd." After hearing his liege's orders, Kratos stood up and walked over to a piece of the collapsed roof. He hoisted it up with ease and carried it out of the room. The Seraph of Judgement continued to do this for the rest of the day, only ever stopping to be berated by the Lady of Castle Raptor.

* * *

Regal scratched his chin as he stared at the ceiling of his office. As opposed to his usual suit, the President of Lezareno simply wore a raggedy pair of pants and a t-shirt that he had tied at his belly to expose his abdominal muscles for one reason or another. "Where would we find the monsters offering the most experience?" he thought aloud. 

"A forest most likely," the Vice-President replied.

Regal, somewhat surprised at being answered, gave a little jump before turning around to address his colleague, "P-Presea, I didn't even realize I had said anything."

"You were thinking out loud," Presea stated as she smoothed out her blue dress.

"I'm surprised you still have that dress, and those gloves, and those boots," Regal said noticing the clothes Presea was sporting. "How in Sylvarant do you still fit in them?"

Presea let out a small sigh as she shook her head. "Regal, these aren't the same one's I wore when I was twelve… They're bigger. It's not like I haven't grown in sixteen years."

Regal fell to his knees and began to hit the floor, "I've inadvertently insulted my best friend... That is yet another sin against Aselia! Why am I unable to atone! An-"

"Regal, if you finish that word, I will cleave into your flesh!" Presea growled through gritted teeth. The President simply looked at her before he promptly shut up, though he continued pounding his hands against the floor.

"I see we haven't missed anything," Yuan said as he, the two other angels, and Pronyma landed in the office of the head of the Lezareno Company.

"No you haven't," Presea said, "Where are the other two?"

"They're waiting outside," Pronyma began, "We're taking the Enterprise and we're going to find Rodyle and Kvar; they haven't reported in in a long time."

"Enterprise?" Regal asked as he rose to his feet, seeming to have forgotten about his previous outburst. "That seems familiar."

"It should, you paid for the construction of the flagship EC of the Desians."

"So that's why I remember it."

Pronyma turned and started to jump out of the window, "Now that I've told you the plan, we Cardinals shall be taking our leave. I'll see you later, Yggy-poo!" With that, the leader of the Five Grand Cardinals was gone, meeting her two companions wherever they were waiting outside.

"…Yggy-poo?" Yuan said as he looked at the man who more or less his little brother.

"Shut up, Yuan…" replied the Seraph Leader as he smacked the head of the Chosen, who had begun to laugh hysterically. "As much as I like her, that woman is disturbingly clingy…"

"Where are we headed?" the Seraph Master of Lightning asked the President of the Lezareno Company.

"To the forests just outside of Altamira," Regal replied. He began to walk toward the elevator, "Follow me." The President's companions followed him, Mithos looking rather dejected while doing so.

Zelos leaned over to Yuan's ear and whispered, "He really is out of it; not one thing about how he should be the one in charge."

Yuan smirked, "I like this Mithos more."

* * *

Notes: First of all, I'd like to apologize for taking so long to update. I have no excuse, unless you counte "Knifey is a lazy, lazy guy," as an excuse. As usual, I'm glad people are enjoying the story. You know... I never actually thought of the Grand Cardinals dressed in Team Rocket uniforms, but... Just thinking about it is hilarious! Magnius in a giant Meowth costume! YEA!

* * *


	8. Chapter VIII: Training and Spirits

* * *

Chapter VIII: Training and Spirits

* * *

**Day One**

"Double Demon Fang!" the Chosen of Tethe'Alla yelled as he released two waves out of his blade at the opposing monster. It was knocked back by the force of the strike into the waiting Presea, who raised her blade and slammed it down as hard as she could, destroying it. "Too easy," Zelos smirked as he shook his finger cockily.

"Don't get to cocky, Zelos," Presea said as she smacked a monster that had pounced and was mere milliseconds away from landing on Zelos. The angel's eyes bulged open in shock at being so close to being harmed. "Why did I get paired up with you?" the Axe Blossom sighed while she cut another monster to shreds with her axe.

Zelos, having regained his smooth composure, stabbed a large worm in the head before preening his hair and answering. "So that I could win your undying love and affection my beautiful rose."

"Uggh… I told you to pay attention," Presea said as she once again cleaved a monster in two right before it could cut Zelos to ribbons.

* * *

"Ahahahaha! Holy Lance! Take that you pathetic inferior beings! Ahahah… AHAHAHAHAHA!" Mithos screeched as he destroyed creature after creature effortlessly. 

"Is he normally like this?" asked Regal as he landed a kick directly in a bear's gut, causing it to fall over backwards. He then jumped into the air and came crashing down, feet first, yelling "Eagle Fall!"

Yuan spun his swallow around, hitting, and killing, numerous ladybugs before answering, "If you're referring to his sudden power trip, then yes, he normally is."

Mithos continued his rampage, cutting a bloody swath of destruction through the native beasts. "Retribution, fools! Status effects for _everyone_! Mwahahaha!"

Regal ducked under a large fist thrown by yet another bear, this one probably wanting to avenge its bear companion. The President of Lezareno then performed a kick to the bear's feet, causing it to lose its balance and topple over like an oversized bookshelf. He then kicked it in the head for good measure. "You know," Regal contemplated aloud, "It's like they're throwing themselves at him."

"Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! _DIE_! Begone everyone and everything! Righteousness shall prevail!" the Seraph Leader screamed, laying even more monsters to waste.

"I've always wondered what goes on in his head when he fights weak creatures like these…" Yuan said to no one I particular as he stabbed a wolf in the face.

* * *

"Durr, I are Yuan and I be stupid!" Yuan yelled as he charged at his liege and surrogate little brother. 

"Hahahaha! Die, fool!" Mithos yelled as he grabbed Yuan by the head and emitted light from his hand, causing the poor angel to explode in a shiny, fantastic, blaze of glory.

"I have come to be slain by you, O Great Lord Yggdrasill-who-is-so-much-more-awesome-than-I-am," Kratos said as he kneeled before the leader of the angels.

"Who's the student _now_! Rejection!" Mithos screamed as he caused a dome of light to erupt from his body and kill the Seraph of Judgement.

"Who's the student _now_! Rejection!" Mithos screamed as he caused a dome of light to erupt from his body and kill the monsters that had surrounded him.

Yuan simply looked at the leader of Cruxis and shook his head, "I guess I'll never know what goes on in that disturbed mind of his…"

* * *

**Day Two**

"Kratos, would you mind going a bit faster?" the ruler of Castle Raptor asked coolly as he took a sip of his finally patented blood-red wine, or, as he had named it, "Kool Aid for Adults". The people at the patent office had tried to prevent his patent, on the grounds that Lloyd was technically not old enough to drink wine, but when they saw the business end of the Demon Falcon's sword, they had no choice but to reconsider.

"Yes, milord," Kratos replied as he continued to hammer a nail into a stone wall. There were a few moments of silence before Kratos spoke again, "Lord Lloyd, would it not be better to use mortar on this since it is a stone wall?"

"But this is so much more amusing," Sheena said as she absentmindedly fidgeted with a card in her fingers.

"Yes, Lady Sheena," Kratos sighed as he continued to attempt to hammer a nail into a stone wall. '… I had to have a son! I couldn't have had a daughter who would follow in Anna's footsteps and constantly worry about her husband! No, I had to have a son who wants to take over the world… Calm down, Kratos. This isn't like you. Stay calm…'

"Faster, Kratos!" Lloyd yelled as he threw one of his swords in Kratos's general direction.

Kratos looked at the blade that had hit the wall mere millimeters from his head. 'Hate!'

* * *

"Lightning Blade! Super Lightning Blade! Sonic Thrust!" the Chosen yelled as he made three lightning quick thrusts, the first two actually summoning lightning from the sky to strike the boar in front of him. "Burn, baby! Eruption!" he shouted as magma erupted from the ground to push the now dead boar up into the air. "My little Rose, I made us a nice roasted lu-unch!" he began in a sing-songy tone, "You love me now, huh!" 

The Axe Blossom blinked a few times as she stared at Zelos in disbelief. He simply smiled, a cheesy shine on his teeth, as he placed the rather large, and now roasted, boar on an equally large plate that he seemed to have pulled from no where. "Zelos, how did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"That plate, you weren't carrying it before…"

"Come now, darling, does it really matter?" Zelos said smoothly, "Let's just enjoy the meal and the _alone_ time."

Presea looked at him skeptically for a few moments. She scratched the back of her head as she studied the Chosen's figure. Finally, she broke the silence, "There is a sixty percent chance you are actually a woman."

Zelos continued to smile his cheesy smile as Presea's words slowly sunk into his brain. Once it did, he daintily put the plate he had been carrying down, straightened to his full height, wiped the nonexistent dirt from his coat, and screamed, "What makes ya say that!"

"You were able to pull a rather larger object out of nowhere. That is a power exclusive to women such as myself. Therefore, there is a rather high chance that you are actually a woman." Presea nodded at the deduction she had just made while a large sweat drop appeared on the back of Zelos's head as he cocked an eyebrow and dropped his jaw in disbelief.

"No. Nononononononononononononono! I found it on a monster's corpse! Ya know those things carry the weirdest things!" Zelos reasoned. "I mean, really, what's a bear gonna do with 200 gald? What's a boar gonna do with a silver platter? Besides…" Zelos struck a pose to accentuate his manly qualities, "How could a guy this hot be a girl! Yeah, baby, looking good!"

"Ugh…"

* * *

**Day Three**

Colette sat in the corner of her cell, staring at the wall and generally moping. She had total right to, as her former friends had thrown her into said cell and were planning to conquer Aselia. She let out a sigh and brought her head closer to her knees, feeling totally dejected from the world. "Colette, are you alright?" came a female voice from another cell, "You haven't said I'm sorry in three hours, and that's not like you."

The former maid of Castle Raptor turned to the general direction the voice had come from before saying, rather harshly, "Leave me alone, Raine!"

The Professor looked down at her own legs in an attempt to organize her thoughts. She then got up from the rather uncomfortable bed she had been sitting on and walked to the bars of her cell, where she could barely see Colette sitting in the corner cell, her hair hanging in front of her face, which was already staring at the ground. Raine took a deep breath before speaking, "Colette, you have to face reality at some point, you can't-"

"Leave! Me! Alone!" the Tiny Angel yelled at her teacher, scooting even more into the corner.

Raine was momentarily overtaken by the shear negativity that Colette seemed to be emitting. After she regained her cool composure, she returned to contemplating what to say to her distraught student. "Colette, just listen to me for a moment-"

"I told you to leave me alone!"

At that moment, poor Raine's patience broke. "What do you think moping around in a cell is going to do! There's absolutely no point to it! Sitting here, staring at a wall, feeling sorry for yourself does not get you out of this cell! It does not make Sheena good person! And it does not make Lloyd love you! Use your brain for something useful!"

There was total silence as Raine's words sunk into Colette's head. The angel couldn't bring herself to look at her teacher's face, and faced the wall once more. Raine could hear the young girl sobbing quietly, and couldn't help but wonder if she had said the right thing.

* * *

Yuan swung his swallow like a baseball bat at the incoming giant ladybug. It went flying into the back of the Seraph Leader's head, and a loud thump could be heard as said Leader fell face flat into the dirt. "You did that on purpose!" Mithos barked. 

"Err, no I didn't," Yuan replied. He scratched his chin for a moment while stabbing a giant caterpillar that was attempting to sneak up behind him. "Though, now that I've thought about it, it was pretty funny."

"You no good, dirty, rotten person you!" Mithos screamed as he started flailing his arms in anger, which ended up being a rather good defense against the creatures that were attempting to surround him.

"Aren't you an eloquent one?" the Seraph Master of Lightning said sarcastically as he smacked yet another ladybug.

"That—that right there—is the reason Martel didn't love you!" shrieked Mithos as he walked up to Yuan holding a glowing hand in front of his face.

Yuan rolled his eyes, "Oh for the love of—Martel was engaged to me. I proposed to her, she said yes, and our wedding was going to be the month after she died! We were in love!"

"Lies! Lies! As the leader of Cruxis, I hereby declare all your words lies!"

Yuan simply rolled his eyes again before hitting Mithos with the flat of blade and knocking the poor angel out.

"Did I miss something?" asked Regal, who had just finished slaying the seventeenth bear he had seen that day.

"No… Where did you get that?" questioned the Seraph Master of Lightning as he pointed to the new bearskin suit Regal was sporting. He was even wearing bearskin boots, greaves, and handcuffs.

"This? There are a lot of bears, and they are really easy to defeat. I was bored, and I made myself this."

Yuan took a closer look at the bear suit the President of the Lezareno Company wore. After examining it thoroughly, he spoke, "That's pretty good craftsmanship. You could probably make a nice amount of gald selling it."

Regal thought for a moment, looking at his new clothing. "Seems like Lezareno's got a new product line. Thank you for the idea, Yuan."

"Anytime."

* * *

**Day Four**

"So, my little rose," Zelos began, pulling laser blade out of a wolf, "What's it like being vice president of the largest company in Aselia?" 

Presea pulled her axe out of another wolf and leaned on it. "Not bad, excluding Regal's angsting. It's got nice pay, and a great dental plan. No, great doesn't describe it's beauty."

"A great dental plan, huh?"

"No, a beautiful one," said Presea as she reached into her dress pocket and pulled out a piece of paper.

"Ya keep a copy of the dental plan with when you know you'll be fightin'?" Zelos asked as he took the paper from her.

Presea nodded her head, "It's my most precious possession. To not have it would be like losing apart of myself."

A notion crossed into the hormonally charged man's mind. He toyed with it a bit, refining it, and put it into action. "So, if I took this, would you—"

"No, I'd kill you first," interrupted Presea, shooting a death glare at Zelos.

The Chosen sighed, "So it's that good, huh?"

"Just look at it."

Zelos unfolded the paper and began to read it over. The farther he got, the more his eyes filled with tears of pure, unadulterated, joy. When he finished, he couldn't help but fall to the ground and cry at the shear greatness of that little piece of paper that contained a dental plan fit for gods themselves. "This… is the most beautiful thing I've seen… Well, except for me," he said as he pulled himself together.

"I told you."

"Yeah, ya did," Zelos agreed. Then another thought entered the Chosen's mind, this one much more benign than the previous one. "You realize you just admitted I was beautiful?" Zelos said slyly, moving his eyebrows up and down repeatedly.

Presea was taken aback by Zelos words, "I—I did no such thing!"

"Yes ya did, when you said, "I told you.", you were replying to a statement in which I said I was more beautiful than the dental plan. My logic is infallible!"

The Axe Blossom thought for a moment, thinking over her words carefully. "I suppose I did, and there's no denying that you _are_ attractive…" she thought aloud.

"So does that mean-"

"No, Zelos."

"… Dammit!"

* * *

"Sacred powers, smite these twisted beings with my awesomely awesome power. Alright now, taste my incredibly cool and awesomely awesome Judgement!" Mithos yelled as beams of light came crashing down from above, killing multiple beasts at once. 

Regal, just finished defeating, and skinning, another bear, looked in the direction of the creatures that had just exploded. He then looked at the leader of Cruxis. "Exactly why do you use the word awesome so much in the chants for your spells?"

"Er, cause I'm awesome. Simple really."

Regal shook his head in disdain, "Has anyone ever said that you think far too much of yourself?"

"…No… Unless you count that dead guy."

"You _killed_ him!" Regal asked as his eyes widened in disbelief.

Mithos blinked a few times before the implication, which was so much implied as bluntly stated, sunk into his brain. "No! Of course not! He was died of old age! Most people don't live for thousands of years."

"Okay then," Regal sighed, "Good."

* * *

**Day Five**

"Lord Lloyd, I have finished the repairs seven hours ahead of schedule," Kratos said, bowing to his false liege. 

"Done already?" Sheena whined, "I was just getting into it…"

"Is that so, Sheena dear?" Lloyd said after taking a sip of "Kool Aid for Adults".

"Of course, it was just starting to get entertaining."

The Demon Falcon got up from his throne and walked toward the wall that Kratos had just finished fixing. He took one sword out of his sheath and swung at it, causing a wave to shoot out from it, causing another hole to appear in the wall. "Fix it, and this time you have to use wooden pegs as nails."

"Oh joy!" Sheena shouted. "More suffering! Life is good."

"Yes it is, Sheena."

Kratos walked toward the entrance of the thrown room to find some wooden pegs, a grimace on his face. Just as he was about to leave, Sheena spoke, "Oh, and Kratos, you have until the end of the day to finish it." The poor knight only sighed and kept walking.

"Good idea," Lloyd said as he sat down on his thrown and took another sip of his blood red wine. The two of them looked at each other briefly before they both broke out into wild, uncontrolled, maniacal laughing. They kept going for a few seconds until they realized something, "Our music, you fools, our music!" Many of the court musicians in the orchestra promptly fell over, some of the horn players getting their french horns stuck on their head. After righting themselves, they began to play there maniacal melody and the Tyrants laughed with it.

Kratos turned around to look at his son and the woman who could be his daughter-in-law in a few months and sighed. "I couldn't have had a daughter…" he mumbled.

* * *

"Hey Yuan, can I have that cookie?" Mithos asked in a rather demanding tone. 

"I would greatly appreciate it if you would get your own cookie from the blasted jar," replied the blue-haired Seraph as he glared at the blonde one.

Mithos pouted, "I'm the leader, I should not have to sully my hands by getting my _own_ cookies, so give it to me!" Yuan just glared at the angel in front of him before taking a bite of his cookie and smirking at him. "… I hate you…" Mithos said as he reached for the cookie jar and took one out.

"These are delicious, Regal," the Seraph Master of Lightning said as he took another bite of his cookie.

Regal smiled, "Thank you. It's been a long time since I've had a chance to-"

"Sephiroth!" a voice shouted from behind the group that had been calmly eating a snack while sitting on a blanket.

The three looked at each other; each one expecting one of the other two to have an answer. "Sephi-who now?" they all said at once.

"I've got you now, Sephiroth!" the voice said, closer this time, and sounding like it was quickly advancing on the group.

"Who is this Sephiroth you speak of?" Regal asked into the air.

"Ahhhhhh!" the voice screamed as an oversized great sword came shooting down near Mithos. Yuan grabbed his swallow and held it up in a stance so that he was able to block the sword.

Mithos spun around abruptly, his hands glowing brightly. "Who dares to attack the royal head of the organization of Cruxis!" he yelled as he holds his hand threateningly close to the assailant's head.

The mystery assailant blinked a few times and then shook his head. "You're not Sephiroth… Damn mako messing with my eyes!" said a man who seemed to be in his late twenties. His hair was exceptionally spiky and as yellow as Mithos's and everything he wore was black, except for a small silver wolf-head pin on his chest. "Who are you?"

"I am Mithos Yggdrasil, and you are a worm whom I shall crush underfoot for such insolence!" the Seraph Leader yelled.

The assailant jumped backwards and held his sword in front of him, ready to fight. "You left me out of the last chapter!" he yelled, "It had a seven in it! I can't be left out of things with seven's in them!"

Regal, Mithos, and Yuan all looked at each other again, wondering if what in the world this man was talking about. They shrugged at each other in turn and realized that none of them knew what was going on. "Chapter? There are no chapters in life, except in the metaphorical sense of the word," Regal stated.

The assailant frowned, "You can't be this stupid! You are-"

"I have this feeling that if life had a fourth wall, this man was about knock down," Yuan said as he slowly began to advance on the man in front of them.

"My name is Cloud Strife and in accordance with my contract with Square, I shall defeat you and correct the grievous injustice you have committed!" the assailant shouted as he charged at our heroes.

Something clicked in the President of the Lezareno Company's head. "Contract? He must be a Summon Spirit. Perhaps he wants to test our strength."

"Good observation, Regal," Yuan began, "It's too bad we don't have a summoner with us."

"Have at you!" Cloud shouted as he swung his sword at the blue-haired Seraph. Yuan blocked the sword and jabbed his swallow in the ground in one motion. Using his swallow as a mounted pole, the Seraph swung on it, delivering a forceful kick to the assailant's face. Cloud reeled back from the blow, but recovered in just enough time to swat Yuan away with the rather large flat side of his blade. "I won't be able to hold back on you," he said as there was a click heard coming from his sword, "Hope you don't die!" He separated his sword into two and began to swing them wildly as he charged toward Yuan.

"Not so fast!" Regal roared, "Wolverine!" He delivered a savage kicking combo on the blonde warrior, knocking him out his charge and away from Yuan.

"Thanks, Regal," the Seraph Master of Electricity said as he got up off of the ground and walked over to him.

"Not a problem."

Yuan looked around to make sure that Cloud wasn't in earshot. He then whispered something into Regal's ear, who then nodded and ran off.

"Ray!" Mithos yelled, grabbing Yuan's attention and causing him to turn around and see the rays of light that had just missed the blonde assailant who had, in turn, just missed Yuan. "Pay attention, Yuan," Mithos said smugly, "This is why you're not the leader."

"Oh, shut up," he spat as he sprouted his wings and flew into the air. "Gods of the heavens, I call upon thee to unleash thy thunderous wrath upon my enemies! Lightning of the heavens, strike down! Indignation!" A dome of electricity surrounded Cloud and exploded in fantastic showing of power. "Take that!" Yuan beamed.

Cloud stood there feeling a surge of electricity charge through his body and hit every pain receptor in it. Despite the pain he felt, he put up a brave face, "It'll take more than that to defeat me!"

Yuan smiled again, "Wait for it…"

"Wait for what?" Mithos asked, feeling in the dark about something.

Suddenly a bear paw hit Cloud in the back of the head and he fell over, incapacitated. "That," Yuan said. Mithos blew a raspberry at him in an attempt to console himself as he still had no idea what was going on. "Nice job, Regal."

The bear pulled its fur off, revealing itself to be Regal. "Thank you, Yuan. I knew this suit would have a use to it."

"Regal's a bear!" Mithos yelled, unable to understand that Regal had disguised himself.

"No, Mithos, he was disguised as a bear."

"Oh…"

"Well, now that we've beat him, we need a summoner. Regal, you wouldn't happen to know any, would you?" Yuan asked.

"Ahem," Mithos said, though he was entirely ignored.

"I'm afraid not," Regal replied.

"A_hem_," Mithos said again, and again he was ignored.

"If only one of us knew how to summon," Yuan thought out loud.

"Yes, if only…" Regal agreed, drifting into his own thoughts on the subject.

"AHEM!"

Yuan frowned and looked at the Seraph Leader. "What is Mithos?"

"I'm a summoner, remember?"

The blue-headed angel scratched his head and glared at Mithos. "You haven't summoned anything in four thousand years, why would I remember?" Mithos blew yet another raspberry at Yuan. "Such childishness… Anyway we'll have to wait until he's awake to form a pact with him."

"Cookies!" Mithos yelled as he returned to the sheet on the ground where their cookies lay.

"He really is pretty childish, isn't he?" Regal observed.

"Yes, yes he is."

* * *

Cloud slowly pushed himself off of the ground and looked around. "Where am I?" he groaned as he felt a large bump on the back of his head. He looked around at the forest clearing, slowly remembering that he had been rendered unconscious by a bear. "I probably would have won, too, if it weren't for that blasted bear… Guess it's time to go on my never ending search for a guy that I repeatedly kill but never stays dead." With that he began to walk off into the forest, but he was stopped by a man dropping down from above. The sight of the man, the one with blue hair and wings that had caused the giant explosion of electricity further jogged his memory, "No! I've failed you, Square! Angst!" he lamented. 

Yuan sighed at the warrior's angsty display. "Not that I want another angst lord running around, but it's time to do your job, Mithos," he shouted.

Mithos floated his way behind Yuan, his face stuffed with cookies while he held the now empty jar of cookies. "You mmm don't telmm me what to mmmmm do!" he chewed.

"It is typically the polite thing to swallow your food before speaking, Mithos," Regal said as he stepped next the leader of Cruxis, shaking his head at said leader's lack of manners.

Mithos glared at Regal before gulping the rest of his cookies down, "Who asked you?"

"Angstastic Angst!" Cloud whined as he kneeled and began to pound his fists on the ground.

"Something about this seems familiar, but I can't place my finger on it," Regal ruminated as scratched his chin.

The two Seraphim stared at him in disbelief. They then stared at each other and back at him, expecting the President to realize the quite obvious fact he was missing. 'There's no way he's so oblivious to not realize that's exactly what he does on a regular basis…' they thought at the same time.

"For the love of the Cetra, ANGST!" Cloud yelled again, beating his fists with even greater intensity than before.

"Shut up so I can make a pact with you!" Mithos commanded. The blonde-headed great sword wielder immediately stopped his late teenage angsting and looked up at the ruler of Vinheim. "Now that I have your attention," Mithos began, clearing his throat, "I, Mithos, ask that thou annulst thy pact with Square and establish a new pact with me."

Cloud grew a depressed countenance once again. "Oh, my failure has forced them to refer to me with thou instead of you! Angst!"

"What's he talking about, that's part of the pact?" Mithos asked his companions, looking confused.

Yuan, noticing that Regal was still mumbling something about the familiarity of Cloud's angsting, realized that he'd have to tell Mithos. "You see, Mithos, thou is an old fashioned word that was used as "you" for the common class, while you itself was used for royalty. As time went on, thou was fazed out by you. By using thou instead of thou instead of you, it could be misinterpreted that you think he's lower than you, or that you are asserting the subservient nature of the summon spirit party in a summoner-summon spirit relationship," he explained. Mithos, though his strength far surpassed that of the admirable level, was still a rather clueless boy at heart, and stared at his comrade blankly. "You good, thou bad," Yuan sighed.

"… Oh," said Mithos, understanding dawning on him like a turtle that had just woken up and began to walk around; very, very slowly. "Get up you pathetic, whiny, good for nothing and answer me!"

Cloud stopped his incessant whining and rose to his feet as if nothing had ever bothered him. He thought for a moment before giving his reply, "Seeing as I have failed to complete the contract I have signed with SquareEnix, I suppose I can form a pact with you."

"Good," Mithos said. The group of men then stood in silence for about five minutes, well, silence if you ignored Regal's going-on's about vague similarities between himself and Cloud. Finally, irritated, Mithos broke the silence, "Well, aren't you going to leave now?"

"Leave, I thought I had formed a pact with you," Cloud said, feeling rather puzzled.

"Your supposed to leave and we'll call you when we need you."

"Oh… Well then, see you later," the now contracted summon spirit said as he departed.

A few more minutes passed before Mithos decided that the silence was too much, "Well, I'm bored, let's go back to the hotel," he suggested.

"Good idea," Yuan agreed.

"We just ran into some blonde-haired guy with a huge sword back there," Presea began as she and Zelos came from the direction in which Cloud had headed towards, "Who was he?"

"A new ally," Yuan stated, "A summon spirit."

"Nice," said Zelos.

"When should we attack Castle Raptor?" Presea asked.

Yuan contemplated the question momentarily before answering, "If we wait until late at night, Lloyd and Sheena may be asleep, meaning we'll have a higher chance of success."

The Axe Blossom agreed, "Yes, if wait, our chances will increase to approximately eighty percent."

Zelos grew ecstatic at the news. "All right, that's pretty good!" He sprouted his wings and lifted himself into the air, "What are we waiting for? The sooner we get back, the sooner it's tomorrow night, and the sooner we save my lovely lass!"

"I hope you still have that energy if we end up in a fight tomorrow," Presea said as she, Mithos, and Yuan began to follow Zelos, who had already flown off.

A few moments passed as Regal stood in the clearing thinking. "I know there's something familiar about that man…" he trailed off as he looked around the forest, "… Hey, where did he go? For that matter, where did everyone else go?" He looked a little into the distance and noticed his companions walking into the setting sun, quite a ways off. He began to run after them, "Wait up!" he yelled, to no avail.

* * *

Notes: As usual, I'm glad everyone is enjoying the story. Just for everyone to know, there is actually a very loose plot here, and I do actually think of at _least_ ten percent of this stuff before I start writing it. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy the next chapter.

* * *


	9. Chapter IX: Battle of Spirits

* * *

Chapter IX: Battle of Spirits

* * *

"Can we go yet?" the red-headed Chosen asked. 

"You've asked forty-seven times since we woke up, and the answer's still no," replied Yuan as he watched the sun set.

"But, it's so close to night!" Zelos cried, "What will my beautiful hunnnie do without me! What!"

Regal looked at the panicking angel; poor Zelos was flying back and forth at such speeds that if he hit anything, it would probably spontaneously combust. "Zelos, just wait another hour and we'll leave."

"If you don't stop that zooming around I'll kill you," Mithos said half-heartedly. He let his head fall into one hand while he covered his mouth with the other, "Oh, I think I'm gonna be sick…"

Zelos, unable to contain himself any longer, broke through a glass window in the lobby of Hotel Lezareno and sped towards the Castle Raptor, yelling, "I'm coming, my illustrious professor!" as he did so. The shattering of the glass garnered the attention of the other guests staying in the hotel, and they all looked out of it and then back to the table at which Mithos, Yuan, Regal, and Presea sat. The four of them sighed, and when the crowd noticed that both the president and vice-president of the Lezareno Company were sitting there, they hurriedly returned to what they were doing before hand.

"I have to pay for that now…" Regal sighed as he and the others walked off to get the rheairds and follow the Chosen.

* * *

Kratos entered the throne room where the rulers of Castle Raptor sat. He walked up the red carpet towards the thrones, admiring his handiwork, or, as much handiwork as could be admired when one had to nail stone into stone with nothing but wood. The Seraph of Judgement sighed before kneeling and asking, "What is it that you are in need of, Lady Sheena?" 

Sheena was building a house of cards on her lap: a very elaborate one, with a garage, a garden, and those creepy little lawn gnomes that every successful family seems to have. She looked up from her masterpiece at the kneeling night before her. "Oh, yes, Kratos, I did call you, didn't I?" she said in sarcastic voice as if she had forgotten that she had done so, knowing very well that she had.

"Yes, you did milady."

"Well, Lloyd and I have decided that these wood pegs really don't go very well with stone," she said, with a dark hint of things to come.

Lloyd, as usual, took a sip of his "Kool Aid for Adults", which had now brought him over seventy million gald in the span of one week, before including his input and his command. "So, because it is so very, very ugly," he said, narrowing his eyes before continuing, "Do it again, and this time, use rubber bands as nails." He and Sheena exchanged a glance before they let out a howl of laughter.

For all intents and purposes, Kratos's brain broke right at that moment. He stood up to his full height, his right eye twitching uncontrollably. The usually calm and collected Seraph had lost all sense of purpose, had forgotten his mission, and felt nothing but wild, unbridled, anger. "I have had it up to here with your outrageous commands and your evil ways! You are a disgrace to yourself, a disgrace to me, and a disgrace to your mother!" he yelled, his calm tone replaced by that of a rabid lion.

At the mention of his mother, Lloyd froze up, unable to do anything. Sheena could only stare at him in disbelief, as she hadn't seen Lloyd like this in a very long time. Lloyd's surprise and fear slowly, visibly, flared into uncontrollable rage. "You! Bastard!" he screamed at his father as he drew his Vorpal Sword and another blade and charged him.

Kratos was barely able to block Lloyd's savage strike in time by pulling his shield in front of him. As Lloyd pulled away to attack again, Kratos unsheathed his Flamberge and swung it at him, causing the two of them to be locked in struggle, each one pushing with all of their might in hopes of killing the other. "This is more like you used be, Lloyd," the Seraph of Judgement stated, his level headedness returning to him in the midst of battle, "Rash and instinctive." Lloyd let out an inhuman yell and Kratos was sent flying into a wall much like when someone throws a rag doll at a wall. As Kratos tried to regain his balance, his shoulder was impaled by one of Lloyd's swords and he could only grimace as he fell into unconsciousness.

The Demon Falcon fell to his knees clutching his head as if he were in terrible pain. Sheena rushed over to him, but he just pushed her away as he let out yet another scream of horrible pain. Sheena then glared at the knight's unconscious body and readied her cards, "I'll kill you!" she shrieked, stopped by a hand catching hers. She turned to look at the lord of Castle Raptor stumble to his feet.

"Guards," Lloyd said, somewhat regaining his composure as nondescript, heavily armed knights entered the throne room. "Take the traitor to the dungeon," he said, pointing at Kratos's incapacitated and heavily bleeding form. The guards nodded, pulled the sword that was stuck in the angel's shoulder out, and carried him to the dungeons as ordered.

"But Lloyd-" Sheena cried.

"He's mine to kill," Lloyd said calmly as he headed off into the castle. "I'm going to our room."

"Maybe I should-"

"No, stay here," he said as he disappeared down a corridor.

Sheena sighed and sat down in her throne room. "Damn you, Kratos Aurion! Damn you!"

* * *

Lloyd walked into a room with a king-sized bed and numerous other personal items. He walked to a chest-of-drawers and pulled one of them open. He reached in and pulled out a small orb. He held it next to the one implanted in his hand and stared at them for a while. "Even now, when I'm so close, you still don't leave me alone…" he said to them, glaring with utmost contempt. 

"Of course not," the orb he held in his hand said. He dropped it and an image of a boy with silver hair who wore a blue suit appeared. "I'm your friend, Lloyd," the image said, "I can't just let you do every stupid thing you want to do."

Lloyd raised his foot to crush the exsphere that lay on the ground, but right as it was about to hit, another voice, this one feminine, spoke, stopping him. "Lloyd, now I may not have been able to raise you since you were very young, but you stop this right now before I'm forced to give you an ethereal spanking young man."

The Demon Falcon put his foot down and grabbed his head once again. "Shut up, shut up, shut up!" he yelled at the voices "You buffoons don't control me! I am the destined ruler of this world!"

The image of the boy grew a large, ethereal sweat drop on the back of his head. "You spent every class standing in the back, holding two buckets of water and you _still_ fell asleep! Rule the world my ass," he crowed.

"You did what!" the female voice screamed, "Young man, you better shape up, or no more snacks for you."

Lloyd's hands tightened around his head and he fell to his knees again. He thrashed around a bit before yelling, to himself, "You bastard! You bastard! You bastard! You bastardddd!" Suddenly, he let go and slammed his head against the ground with such force that the nearby bed shook. He pointed to the boy shortly before losing consciousness, smirking an evil smirk, "I… win…" With that, the Demon Falcon fainted.

"… That didn't go as well as I hoped," said the female voice, appearing from the exsphere imbedded in Lloyd's arm.

The boy smacked his forehead, "Trust a dumb ass to find a dumb way to return to being a dumb evil ass…" he sighed.

"Oh, when he gets up, he'll get such a spanking!"

* * *

"Kratos!" yelled Raine as the Seraph of Judgement was throne into the cell across from hers, still bleeding profusely. As soon as she was sure the guards were out of earshot, she grabbed a large metal pipe that she had found earlier that day in the corner of her cell. She rushed back to the bars of her cell and pointed the pipe in Kratos's direction. "Healing Circle!" she yelled, using the pipe as a focal point through which she could channel her healing magic. 

As his wounds healed, Kratos groggily pushed himself off of the ground and moaned. "Lloyd…" he said weakly, yet loudly.

"Professor, what's wrong with Kratos! Why is he here!" Colette queried, rushing to the front of her cell.

"I believe he somehow got into a fight with Lloyd," replied Raine.

Colette looked down and balled her hands into tight fists in an attempt to subdue her anger. "I can't stand by and watch Lloyd hurt my friends anymore," she began, taking a few steps away from the bars, "So I'm going to do something about it!" She charged at the bars heroically, but, being the klutz that she is, the Tiny Angel let out an, "Oops!" as she tripped and knocked out the lock on her cell. The lock bounced off of the wall and hit another cell, bouncing off of it and hitting Raine's lock and breaking it. It continued to ricochet until it finally bounced off of one last wall and hit the lock on Kratos's cell. Numerous cell doors opened, including the one's to the two angel's cells and the half elf's cell. Colette quickly rose to her feet and ran out and bowed repeatedly to the Professor and the Seraph. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorrysorrysorry!"

Raine and Kratos exited their cells, Kratos giving himself a shake to regain his balance. "Thank you, Colette," Raine said.

Totally oblivious to the fact that she had done a good thing, Collete continued apologizing. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Kratos, having finally regained his senses, looked at the entrance to the dungeon. He then looked back at all of the locks on the floor and the open cell doors and ran to the wall closest to Colette's cell. "There's no time for apologizing now!" he yelled urgently, drawing Flamberge once again, "Fierce Demon Fang!" he yelled as he hit the wall with tremendous strength, leaving a gaping hole in it. "The guards surely heard that, we have to go now!" With that, the two women behind him ran toward the hole. Colette sprouted her wings and jumped into the cool night air, while Kratos grabbed Raine and followed suit.

* * *

"Raine'll be so happy I rescued her, maybe we'll-" Zelos began as he spun around in the air to show just how good he was feeling. 

"Get your head out of the gutter, man!" Yuan yelled as he Zelos on the head.

"How could she resist this sexy body?" Zelos continued, raising his eyebrows in a mischievous manner.

Presea took a deep breath and rolled her eyes. "I do it every day," she said sarcastically.

Zelos smiled a sly smile, "See, you admitted I'm sexy again!"

"So I did," Presea sighed, paying no notice to the Chosen.

"Don't act like your not falling for me."

"I'm really not."

"Well you don't have to say it so calmly!" Zelos pouted.

"I know you're excited, Zelos, but please, no more flying out of windows in establishments I own," Regal pseudo-pleaded.

"I said I was sorry!"

"Would you people shut up!" cried Yuan, massaging his temples to relieve himself of the stress he was feeling.

"That's my job Yuan," Mithos glared at the rather cross half elf that was flying next to him.

"What's your job?"

"As the leader, it's my job to give orders, not yours!"

"Oh for the love of-"

"Kratos?" said Regal.

"Excuse me?"

"No, I mean Kratos is flying toward us with Raine and Colette," the company president said as he pointed at the three approaching people.

"No fair, Kratos saved Raine _and_ Colette! He get's to chicks! No fair! No fair!" Zelos yelled spying the young angel and the scientist.

"How'd you get out of there?" Yuan asked as the man and two women stopped just ahead of him.

Kratos shook his head, "We don't have time for this; we're being pursued and if we don't leave now-"

"I'll find you," said Sheena as she stopped her rheaird behind them.

"Sheena!" yelled Kratos.

"That witch!" yelled Colette.

"Hotness!" yelled Zelos. He was then met by awkward stares from the rest of the party, including the other ruler Castle Raptor. "Err… I mean… That… Really evil lady!"

"I'm afraid Raine's coming with me," Sheena said after recovering from Zelos's pathetic insult.

"I'm afraid we can't let that happen," replied Yuan.

"Stop being cool, that's my job!" yelled Mithos.

"Would you just shut up, we're in a serious situation here."

"Bickering amongst yourselves? How pathetic!" screamed the Card Mistress as she made seals with her hands. "I call upon the heavenly messengers. I summon thee: Sylph!" she chanted. A large green circle appeared below her rheaird and three small, winged girls appeared, one wielding a sword, another a shield, and the last a bow. "I hope you're ready to die!" she cackled.

"You're not the only one with the ability to summon!" Mithos shouted.

"Um, Mithos, I'm pretty sure that won't work," Yuan stated.

"Oh, and why not!" said the indignant ruler of Cruxis.

"I'm pretty sure he can't fly."

"Just shut up and let me do my job," Mithos said as he struck a pose in an attempt to center himself. He began to chant, "I call upon the man who wields the largest sword, the King of Angst. I summon thee: Cloud Strife!" As he finished, a large wolf's head appeared below him, and the blonde warrior he had made a pact with the day before appeared. He floated there momentarily before drawing his outrageously large, yet cool, transforming sword and getting into a fighter's stance.

Yuan blinked a few times before he said, "You couldn't fly yesterday."

"With the power of the Advent, I can do anything as long as it's for the sake of coolness."

Yuan blinked a few times before he simply shrugged. The Seraph Leader looked at him, smirked, and blew a raspberry to show his victory over the Seraph Master of Lightning. Yuan simply glared back.

"Presea, do you have a red and whit cap?" asked Mithos, orienting himself to face the pink-headed woman. "Oh, and a radio?"

Presea reached into her pocket and groped around it, "I suppose I might, though I'm not sure why I would." She stopped searching her pocket and pulled out a radio and a red and white cap and handed the two items to Mithos. "What do you need them for?"

"I don't care what you need them for, can we hurry this up, I have better things to do!" the Card Mistress yelled from her rheaird as the Sylphs surround Cloud.

"Oh, shut up!" Mithos screamed as he put the hat on and turned it backwards. He then turned the radio on and "Beat the Angel" began to play, and he handed it back to Presea. He pointed forward dramatically and yelled, "Summon Spirit battle! I choose you, Cloud!"

"Cloud Cloud!" said the King of Angst.

"What the hell?" shouted Sheena at the strange display ahead of her. "Forget it; Sylphs, attack!" The Sylphs charged upon the waiting warrior.

"Dodge it, Cloud!" commanded Mithos.

"Cloud!" Cloud shouted as he twisted his body in strange ways to avoid the incoming sword, shield, and arrows.

Mithos nodded, "Now Cloud, deus-ex-machina thunder shock!"

"You mean Omnislash!" the King of Angst corrected, looking back at his summoner.

"Er… Right! Omnislash, Cloud!"

"Cloud!" Cloud yelled as he dropped his altitude a bit and separated his swords into five. Four of them surrounded the Sylphs, who had, sadly for them, regrouped close to each other. All of his swords began to glow and orange color, including the one he held, and he charged forward yelling, "Omnislash Version Five and Three Quarters!" The blonde-haired warrior unleashed thirteen slashes upon the Sylphs charging again and again from a different angle for each one. With the last four he would grab one of his swords that floated around the Sylphs and connect it the one he carried before each slash. He then returned Mithos's side and waited.

"It'll take more than that to defeat the Sylphs!" Sheena screamed. "Fairess, Air Thrust!" The one that carried the shield nodded and conjured a bunch of blades of wind to circle around Cloud, causing multiple cuts to appear on him.

"Ouch, dammit!… Er… I mean, Clouddddddddd!" Cloud yelled due to the stinging of the cuts.

Mithos scratched his chin, trying to think of a way to counter this turn of events. When an idea hit him, he snapped his fingers and ordered, "Cloud, use the secret technique!"

"What secret technique? There is no secret technique!"

"Just do something!"

Cloud looked at his sword and then back at the Sylphs. "Dammit! I can't let them down like a let down Square! Angst!" he yelled as he began to hit his head against the flat side of his sword.

Suddenly, inspiration raced into Yuan's head, "Cloud, Angst Beam, now!"

"You can't give my summon spirit orders, he's mine!" Mithos yelled, indignant again.

Cloud realized what Yuan was getting at and separated his sword into two. He then began to swing them around wildly and yelled, "Now feel my shame, my hatred, and all my whiney teenage years! Angst Ray!" With that, the King of Angst swung both swords forward and a giant beam of darkness hit the Sylphs dead on, knocking them out. The Sylphs disappeared almost immediately.

Regal blinked a few things before he said the first thing to come to mind, "I must learn that move!"

"Grr… You just wait for the next one!" Sheena shrieked, totally ignoring Regal's outburst and beginning to make more hand signs. Before she could finish, a hand grabbed her shoulder. "What do you—Lloyd!"

The Demon Falcon was perched on the back of her rheaird, his giant, ethereal falcon's wings sprouted and folded pointing forward. "We have work to do at the castle, Sheena, let us return," he said coolly as he took a sip of the blood red wine he refused to leave behind.

"But they have-"

"Let's go, dear," Lloyd said again, pushing himself off of the rheaird and heading back toward the castle.

Sheena watched him go and then turned her attention to the group in front of her. "You're lucky! I was just warming up!" she spat, and she then followed after the tyrant who had just left.

Cloud looked at Mithos and nodded, "Pleasure doing business with you." With that, he faded into nothing, returning to do whatever he was doing beforehand.

Yuan turned his attention to Kratos, "So, what exactly happened?"

"I'll tell you later, I believe these two would like to sleep in a bed without mice."

Colette blinked in disbelief, "They exist!"

Zelos, getting another one of his bright ideas, spoke, "If you two come to my room-"

"No Zelos," Raine said calmly, "We decline."

"… Shoot…"

* * *

The two Tyrants walked toward the science lab, making their way through the maze of corridors they each knew like the back of their hands. Finally, they entered a large room where the massive weapon, the Mana Cannon, was stored. Sheena couldn't keep silent any longer, "Lloyd, why did we let them go! They had Raine!" 

Lloyd walked over to a wall. He pulled out a few bricks and there was a safe, disguised very well. He placed his hand over a sensor on it and it popped open. He stuck his hand in and pulled out a large pile of papers. He looked at them briefly before handing them Sheena.

"… Wait, I thought…"

Lloyd took a sip of his wine before answering, "My wings allow for many things, you know that."

Sheena continued reading the papers and smirked. "You clever little sneak," she complimented. They shared a look, and then broke out into the most deliciously evil laughter which was accompanied by the most deliciously evil music as the musicians had finally learned that they should probably follow their two lieges everywhere except the bathroom and bedroom and that they should always play music fitting their mood.

* * *

Notes: Thanks for the reviews, I really appreciate them, they help keep me going, though I'd finish this story even if no one read it. I certainly hope everyone enjoyed Cloud and his summon spirit awesomeness. There's more where that came from, and that's all I'm going to say about that. Anyway, I hope I'm not laying it on to thick with the pseudo-character development (i.e. I hope I'm doing it right). So, as usual, read and enjoy.  



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